Famous Quotes from Inspirational People

  The only "ism" hollywood believes in....
The only "ism" hollywood believes in is plagiarism.-- Dorothy Parker

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  One of the penalties for refusing....
One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.-- Plato

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt....
Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.-- Mark Twain

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  You can be confident and secure....
You can be confident and secure and know that you do a good job at what you do. But you don't know to be arrogant about it.-- Ruben Studdard

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  For certain people after fifty, litigation....
For certain people after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.-- Gore Vidal

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Sometimes you cannot believe what you....
Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too--even when you're in the dark. Even when you're falling.-- Morrie Schwartz

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I base my fashion taste on....
I base my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.-- Gilda Radner

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  This isn't good or bad. It's....
This isn't good or bad. It's just the way of things. Nothing stays the same.-- Real Live Preacher

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Treasure the love you receive above....
Treasure the love you receive above all. It will survive long after your gold and good health have vanished.-- Og Mandino

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Grief teaches the steadiest minds to....
Grief teaches the steadiest minds to waver.-- Sophocles

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Time the devourer of all things.--....
Time the devourer of all things.-- Ovid

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  A rat who gnaws at a....
A rat who gnaws at a cat's tail invites destruction.-- Chinese Proverb

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Ambition is putting a ladder against....
Ambition is putting a ladder against the sky.-- American Proverb

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Genius might be described as a....
Genius might be described as a supreme capacity for getting its possessors into trouble of all kinds.-- Samuel Butler

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  SCRAP-BOOK, n. A book that is....
SCRAP-BOOK, n. A book that is commonly edited by a fool. Many persons of some small distinction compile scrap-books containing whatever they happen to read about themselves or employ others to collect. One of these egotists was addressed in the lines following, by Agamemnon Melancthon Peters:-- Pray lend it me. Wit I have not,

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The smaller the mind the greater....
The smaller the mind the greater the conceit.-- Aesop

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  When I was a small boy....
When I was a small boy I was always being told by others, especially grown ups, to behave, to be good. It never occurred to me that I was always behaving in some manner. But I didn't have the awareness or skill to ask those grown ups what they meant when they told me to behave and to be good. Now I realize that all they wanted was for me to conform to their idea of what was good and not to do what they called bad behavior, which they sometimes changed at will. Even today people are still telling me how I should behave, but now I ask what they mean and sometimes it drives them up a wall.-- Sidney Madwed

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  No cost is too heavy for....
No cost is too heavy for the preservation of one's honor.-- Mahatma Gandhi

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  One hundred thousand lemmings can't be....
One hundred thousand lemmings can't be wrong.-- Graffito

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The poet's voice need not merely....
The poet's voice need not merely be the record of man, it can be one of the props, the pillars to help him endure and prevail.-- William Faulkner

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  [End of diatribe. We now return....
[End of diatribe. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming...]-- Unknown (can you tell me?)

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  No nice men are good at....
No nice men are good at getting taxis.-- Katharine Whitehorn

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  If you ever need a helping....
If you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.-- Yiddish Proverb

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The ultimate good desired is better....
The ultimate good desired is better reached by free trade in ideas [and] the best test of truth is the power of the thought to get itself accepted in the competition of the market.-- Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Man is certainly stark mad. He....
Man is certainly stark mad. He cannot make a worm, and yet he will be making gods by dozens.-- Michel de Montaigne

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Neither a borrower nor a lender....
Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend; And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry [economy].-- William Shakespeare

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  If women are expected to do....
If women are expected to do the same work as men, we must teach them the same things.-- Plato

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Order is not pressure which is....
Order is not pressure which is imposed on society from without, but an equilibrium which is set up from within.-- Jose Ortega y Gasset

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  All sanity depends on this: that....
All sanity depends on this: that it should be a delight to feel heat strike the skin, a delight to stand upright, knowing the bones are moving easily under the flesh.-- Doris Lessing

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The crowd gives the leader new....
The crowd gives the leader new strength.-- Evenius

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  There are many things of which....
There are many things of which a wise man might wish to be ignorant.-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Don't go around saying the world....
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. -- Mark Twain

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  No person was ever honored for....
No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave.-- Calvin Coolidge

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Anger at lies lasts forever. Anger....
Anger at lies lasts forever. Anger at truth can't last.-- Greg Evans

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  AMNESTY, n. The state's magnanimity to....
AMNESTY, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  If you ever start feeling like....
If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'-- Jeff Foxworthy

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The only kind of dignity which....
The only kind of dignity which is genuine is that which is not diminished by the indifference of others.-- Dag Hammarskjold

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Don't bend; don't water it down;....
Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.-- Franz Kafka

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  [The television is] an invention that....
[The television is] an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home.-- David Frost

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  You will find that the mere....
You will find that the mere resolve not to be useless, and the honest desire to help other people, will, in the quickest and delicatest ways, improve yourself.-- John Ruskin

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  All our progress is an unfolding,....
All our progress is an unfolding, like a vegetable bud. You have first an instinct, then an opinion, then a knowledge as the plant has root, bud, and fruit. Trust the instinct to the end, though you can render no reason.-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  We are born charming, fresh and....
We are born charming, fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society.-- Judith Martin

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The secrets of this earth are....
The secrets of this earth are not for all men to see, but only for those who seek them.-- Ayn Rand

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  For dust thou art, and unto....
For dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.-- Bible

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I decided that it was not....
I decided that it was not wisdom that enabled [poets] to write their poetry, but a kind of instinct or inspiration, such as you find in seers and prophets who deliver all their sublime messages without knowing in the least what they mean.-- Socrates

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  In those days spirits were brave,....
In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.-- Douglas Adams

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  We have a firm commitment to....
We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a *part* of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a *part* of Europe.-- Dan Quayle

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I can be changed by what....
I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.-- Maya Angelou

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Men stumble over the truth from....
Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened.-- Sir Winston Churchill

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  After twelve years of therapy my....
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.'-- Ronnie Shakes

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The person, be it gentleman or....
The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.-- Jane Austen

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  A national debt, if it is....
A national debt, if it is not excessive, will be to us a national blessing.-- Alexander Hamilton

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  We never regret having eaten too....
We never regret having eaten too little.-- Thomas Jefferson

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  CONFIDANT, CONFIDANTE, n. One entrusted by....
CONFIDANT, CONFIDANTE, n. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B, confided by _him_ to C.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Philanthropy is the refuge of rich....
Philanthropy is the refuge of rich people who wish to annoy their fellow creatures.-- Oscar Wilde

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  A very ancient and fish-like smell.--....
A very ancient and fish-like smell.-- William Shakespeare

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  When beholding the tranquil beauty and....
When beholding the tranquil beauty and brilliancy of the ocean's skin, one forgets the tiger heart that pants beneath it; and would not willingly remember that this velvet paw but conceals a remorseless fang.-- Herman Melville

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Comedy is tragedy plus time.-- Carol....
Comedy is tragedy plus time.-- Carol Burnett

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Most folks are about as happy....
Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.-- Abraham Lincoln

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  If you explore beneath shyness or....
If you explore beneath shyness or party chit-chat, you can sometimes turn a dull exchange into an intriguing one. I've found this to be particularly true in the case of professors or intellectuals, who are full of fascinating information, but need encouragement before they'll divulge it.-- Joyce Carol Oates

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which....
Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  LOVE'S GIFT cannot be given, it....
LOVE'S GIFT cannot be given, it waits to be accepted.-- Rabindranath Tagore

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  If you cannot lift the load....
If you cannot lift the load off another's back, do not walk away. Try to lighten it.-- Frank Tyger

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  We have only this moment, sparkling....
We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand... and melting like a snowflake. Let us use it before it is too late.-- Marie Beyon Ray

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Whatever God's dream about man may....
Whatever God's dream about man may be, it seems certain it cannot come true unless man cooperates.-- Stella Terrill Mann

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  To love another person is to....
To love another person is to see the face of God.-- Victor Hugo

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  FRIENDLESS, adj. Having no favors to....
FRIENDLESS, adj. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Happiness makes up in height for....
Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length.-- Robert Frost

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Tis education forms the common mind;--....
Tis education forms the common mind;-- Alexander_Pope/"

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  In America any boy may become....
In America any boy may become President and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes.-- Adlai E. Stevenson Jr.

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Romance is dead. It was acquired....
Romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.-- Matt Groening

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  A graceful and honorable old age....
A graceful and honorable old age is the childhood of immortality.-- Pindar

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Wisdom is what's left after we've....
Wisdom is what's left after we've run out of personal opinions.-- Cullen Hightower

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  At least half the mystery novels....
At least half the mystery novels published violate the law that the solution, once revealed, must seem to be inevitable.-- Raymond Chandler

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Before you give up hope, turn....
Before you give up hope, turn back and read the attacks that were made on Lincoln.-- Bruce Barton

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  There is nothing like a newborn....
There is nothing like a newborn baby to renew your spirit - and to buttress your resolve to make the world a better place.-- Virginia Kelley

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  All Reformers, however strict their social....
All Reformers, however strict their social conscience, live in houses just as big as they can pay for.-- Logan Pearsall Smith

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  ORTHODOX, n. An ox wearing the....
ORTHODOX, n. An ox wearing the popular religious joke.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  This is patently absurd; but whoever....
This is patently absurd; but whoever wishes to become a philosopher must learn not to be frightened by absurdities.-- Bertrand Russell

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  With just enough of learning to....
With just enough of learning to misquote.-- Lord Byron

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I was going to buy a....
I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: What the hell good would that do?-- Ronnie Shakes

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Since you are like no other....
Since you are like no other being ever created since the beginning of time, you are incomparable.-- Brenda Ueland

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Whenever the literary German dives into....
Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth.-- Mark Twain

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Blessed is the man that endureth....
Blessed is the man that endureth temptation for when he is tried he shall receive the crown of life.-- Bible

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I'd rather die while I'm living....
I'd rather die while I'm living than live while I'm dead.-- Jimmy Buffett

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Usenet isn't a right. It's a....
Usenet isn't a right. It's a right, a left, and a swift uppercut to the jaw.-- Anonymous

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Gravity is a habit that is....
Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off.-- Terry Pratchett

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  At any rate, I am convinced....
At any rate, I am convinced that He [God] does not play dice.-- Albert Einstein

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Let the people think they govern,....
Let the people think they govern, and they will be governed. -- William Penn

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Certainly, travel is more than the....
Certainly, travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living.-- Miriam Beard

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Read over your compositions, and wherever....
Read over your compositions, and wherever you meet with a passage which you think is particularly fine, strike it out.-- Samuel Johnson

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  College football would be more interesting....
College football would be more interesting if the faculty played instead of the students - there would be a great increase in broken arms, legs and necks.-- H. L. Mencken

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  SATYR, n. One of the few....
SATYR, n. One of the few characters of the Grecian mythology accorded recognition in the Hebrew. (Leviticus, xvii, 7.) The satyr was at first a member of the dissolute community acknowledging a loose allegiance with Dionysius, but underwent many transformations and improvements. Not infrequently he is confounded with the faun, a later and decenter creation of the Romans, who was less like a man and more like a goat.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The belief that there are other....
The belief that there are other life forms in the universe is a matter of faith. There is not a single shred of evidence for any other life forms, and in forty years of searching, none has been discovered. There is absolutely no evidentiary reason to maintain this belief.-- Michael Crichton

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  We shall not cease from exploration.....
We shall not cease from exploration. And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.-- T. S. Eliot

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The secret of a good memory....
The secret of a good memory is attention, and attention to a subject depends upon our interest in it. We rarely forget that which has made a deep impression on our minds.-- Tryon Edwards

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  He that has done you a....
He that has done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged.-- Benjamin Franklin

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  In the United States there is....
In the United States there is more space where nobody is than where anybody is. That is what makes America what it is.-- Gertrude Stein

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The man whom no one pleases....
The man whom no one pleases is much more unhappy than the man who pleases no one.-- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  You ask me why I do....
You ask me why I do not write something....I think one's feelings waste themselves in words, they ought all to be distilled into actions and into actions which bring results.-- Florence Nightingale

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Do no dishonour to the earth....
Do no dishonour to the earth least you dishonour the spirit of man.-- Henry Beston

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The headline reads, "Docs say patients....
The headline reads, "Docs say patients make them prescribe useless antibiotics." This puts a physician in roughly the same predicament as a serial killer. The latter says, "Stop me before I kill again, while the former says, "Stop me before I prescribe again."-- Unknown (can you tell me?)

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  SAUCE, n. The one infallible sign....
SAUCE, n. The one infallible sign of civilization and enlightenment. A people with no sauces has one thousand vices; a people with one sauce has only nine hundred and ninety-nine. For every sauce invented and accepted a vice is renounced and forgiven.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  [The pamphlet] was very patriotic. That....
[The pamphlet] was very patriotic. That is, it talked about killing foreigners.-- Terry Pratchett

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It's the whole, not the detail,....
It's the whole, not the detail, that matters.-- German Proverb

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  [Television is] the triumph of machine....
[Television is] the triumph of machine over people.-- Fred Allen

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It's a sign of mediocrity when....
It's a sign of mediocrity when you demonstrate gratitude with moderation.-- Roberto Benigni

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I believe in God like I....
I believe in God like I believe in the sun, not because I can see it, but because of it all things are seen.-- C. S. Lewis

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  If indeed you must be candid,....
If indeed you must be candid, be candid beautifully. -- Kahlil Gibran

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I fear not, I see not....
I fear not, I see not reason for fear. In the end we will be the victors. For though at times the flame of liberty may cease to shine, the ember will never expire.-- Thomas Paine

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The first human being who hurled....
The first human being who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization.-- Sigmund Freud

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Sleep, those little slices of death;....
Sleep, those little slices of death; Oh how I loathe them.-- Edgar Allan Poe

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  A new and valid idea is....
A new and valid idea is worth more than a regiment and fewer men can furnish the former than command the latter.-- Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  So convenient a thing it is....
So convenient a thing it is to be a reasonable creature, since it enables one to find or make a reason for everything one has a mind to do.-- Benjamin Franklin

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Living well and beautifully and justly....
Living well and beautifully and justly are all one thing.-- Socrates

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It is easier to stay out....
It is easier to stay out than get out.-- Mark Twain

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I never think of the future....
I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.-- Albert Einstein

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Failure is defined by our reaction....
Failure is defined by our reaction to it.-- Oprah Winfrey

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  No man is an Island, intire....
No man is an Island, intire of itselfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine...-- John Donne

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  WINE, n. Fermented grape-juice known to....
WINE, n. Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as "liquor," sometimes as "rum." Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Friends may come and go, but....
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.-- Thomas Jones

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  This is the true joy in....
This is the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one. Being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as I live it is my privilege - my *privilege* to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I love. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me; it is a sort of splendid torch which I've got a hold of for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.-- George Bernard Shaw

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I'd give you my seat, but....
I'd give you my seat, but I'm sitting in it.-- Chico Marx

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  To say something nice about yourself,....
To say something nice about yourself, this is the hardest thing in the world for people to do. They'd rather take their clothes off.-- Nancy Friday

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It is always the best policy....
It is always the best policy to speak the truth--unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.-- Jerome K. Jerome

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Let no man imagine that he....
Let no man imagine that he has no influence. Whoever he may be, and wherever he may be placed, the man who thinks becomes a light and a power.-- Henry George

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Honesty. It's such a lonely word.--....
Honesty. It's such a lonely word.-- Billy Joel

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Be open to your dreams, people.....
Be open to your dreams, people. Embrace that distant shore. Because our mortal journey is over all too soon.-- David Assael

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I have no other but a....
I have no other but a woman's reason: -- William_Shakespeare/"

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Goodnight-- Lord Byron ....
Goodnight-- Lord Byron

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I have come to the conclusion....
I have come to the conclusion that my subjective account of my motivation is largely mythical on almost all occasions. I don't know why I do things.-- J. B. S. Haldane

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  We are shaped by our thoughts;....
We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.-- Buddha

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Love looks through a telescope; envy,....
Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.-- Josh Billings

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  While we have the gift of....
While we have the gift of life, it seems to me that only tragedy is to allow part of us to die - whether it is our spirit, our creativity, or our glorious uniqueness.-- Gilda Radner

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  A good End cannot sanctifie evil....
A good End cannot sanctifie evil Means; nor must we ever do Evil, that Good may come of it.-- William Penn

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  All things may corrupt when minds....
All things may corrupt when minds are prone to evil.-- Ovid

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  America is a young country with....
America is a young country with an old mentality.-- George Santayana

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  This isn't right. This isn't even....
This isn't right. This isn't even wrong.-- Wolfgang Pauli

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  My own suspicion is that the....
My own suspicion is that the universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we *can* suppose.-- J. B. S. Haldane

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  What a searching preacher of self-command....
What a searching preacher of self-command is the varying phenomenon of health.-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Eyes that see do not grow....
Eyes that see do not grow old.-- Nicaraguan Proverb

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The only thing that sustains one....
The only thing that sustains one through life is the consciousness of the immense inferiority of everybody else, and this is a feeling that I have always cultivated.-- Oscar Wilde

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  How good bad music and bad....
How good bad music and bad reasons sound when one marches against an enemy!-- Friedrich Nietzsche

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Man lowers his head and lunges....
Man lowers his head and lunges into civilization, forgetting the days of his infancy when he sought truth in a snowflake or a stick. Man forgets the wisdom of the child.-- Jack Kerouac

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  You don't have to signal a....
You don't have to signal a social conscience by looking like a frump. Lace knickers won't hasten the holocaust, you can ban the bomb in a feather boa just as well as without, and a mild interest in the length of hemlines doesn't necessarily disqualify you from reading Das Kapital and agreeing with every word.-- Princess Elizabeth Asquith Bibesco

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Every man over forty is a....
Every man over forty is a scoundrel.-- George Bernard Shaw

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  For those who believe in God,....
For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can't readily accept the God formula, the big answers don't remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command or faith a dictum. I am my own God. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.-- Charles Bukowski

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  A man does not have to....
A man does not have to be an angel in order to be saint.-- Albert Schweitzer

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  All growth depends upon activity. There....
All growth depends upon activity. There is no development physically or intellectually without effort, and effort means work.-- Calvin Coolidge

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The world breaks everyone and afterward....
The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry.-- Ernest Hemingway

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Three failures denote uncommon strength. A....
Three failures denote uncommon strength. A weakling has not enough grit to fail thrice.-- Minna Thomas Antrim

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Beauty in things exist in the....
Beauty in things exist in the mind which contemplates them.-- David Hume

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Once you can laugh at your....
Once you can laugh at your own weaknesses, you can move forward. Comedy breakes down walls. It opens up people. If you're good, you can fill up those openings with something positive. Maybe... combat some of the ugliness in the world.-- Goldie Hawn

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The more you read and observe....
The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best.-- Will Rogers

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  He who has not a good....
He who has not a good memory should never take upon himself the trade of lying.-- Michel de Montaigne

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  [Water is] the only drink for....
[Water is] the only drink for a wise man.-- Henry David Thoreau

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  No matter what we do, we....
No matter what we do, we are always going to have Us versus Them moments. We can separate, yell or talk to each other and draw a truce. You won't agree with everybody. It doesn't mean the other person is an idiot.-- Jimmy Bise Jr.

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Always bear in mind that your....
Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.-- Abraham Lincoln

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  When it is not necessary to....
When it is not necessary to make a decision, it is necessary not to make a decision.-- Lord Falkland

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Digressions, objections, delight in mockery, carefree....
Digressions, objections, delight in mockery, carefree mistrust are signs of health; everything unconditional belongs in pathology.-- Friedrich Nietzsche

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  No man deserves punishment for his....
No man deserves punishment for his thoughts.-- Anonymous

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  This sheaf of paper with gaudy....
This sheaf of paper with gaudy cover glued to the spine is not the book. The book is not an object on the table, it is an event in the readers mind.... The book, therefore is only finished when someone reads it.-- Lois McMaster Bujold

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  All [zoos] actually offer to the....
All [zoos] actually offer to the public in return for the taxes spent upon them is a form of idle and witless amusement, compared to which a visit to a penitentiary, or even to a State legislature in session, is informing, stimulating and ennobling.-- H. L. Mencken

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  'But' is a fence over which....
'But' is a fence over which few leap.-- German proverb

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  That's the difference between me and....
That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!-- Unknown (can you tell me?)

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  LAUGHTER, n. An interior convulsion, producing....
LAUGHTER, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable. Liability to attacks of laughter is one of the characteristics distinguishing man from the animals -- these being not only inaccessible to the provocation of his example, but impregnable to the microbes having original jurisdiction in bestowal of the disease. Whether laughter could be imparted to animals by inoculation from the human patient is a question that has not been answered by experimentation. Dr. Meir Witchell holds that the infection character of laughter is due to the instantaneous fermentation of _sputa_ diffused in a spray. From this peculiarity he names the disorder _Convulsio spargens_.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  All [zoos] actually offer to the....
All [zoos] actually offer to the public in return for the taxes spent upon them is a form of idle and witless amusement, compared to which a visit to a penitentiary, or even to a State legislature in session, is informing, stimulating and ennobling.-- H. L. Mencken

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Usability is like oxygen -- you....
Usability is like oxygen -- you never notice it until it is missing...-- Unknown

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The people have always some champion....
The people have always some champion whom they set over them and nurse into greatness...This and no other is the root from which a tyrant springs; when he first appears he is a protector.-- Plato

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Let us not look back in....
Let us not look back in anger, or forward in fear, but around us in awareness.-- James Thurber

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The sane appear as strange to....
The sane appear as strange to the mad as the mad to the sane-- Joe Orton

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  My best friend is the one....
My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.-- Henry Ford

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  As you enter positions of trust....
As you enter positions of trust and power, dream a little before you speak.-- Toni Morrison

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The really potent part of love....
The really potent part of love is that it allows you to carry around beliefs about yourself that make you feel special, desirable, precious, innately good. Your lover couldn't have seen [these qualities] in you, even temporarily, if they weren't part of your essential being.-- Martha Beck

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  A good man would prefer to....
A good man would prefer to be defeated than to defeat injustice by evil means.-- Sallust

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I went to a convent in....
I went to a convent in New York and was fired finally for my insistence that the Immaculate Conception was spontaneous combustion.-- Dorothy Parker

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Do one thing every day that....
Do one thing every day that scares you.-- Eleanor Roosevelt

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  REVOLUTION, n. In politics, an abrupt....
REVOLUTION, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment. Specifically, in American history, the substitution of the rule of an Administration for that of a Ministry, whereby the welfare and happiness of the people were advanced a full half-inch. Revolutions are usually accompanied by a considerable effusion of blood, but are accounted worth it -- this appraisement being made by beneficiaries whose blood had not the mischance to be shed. The French revolution is of incalculable value to the Socialist of to-day; when he pulls the string actuating its bones its gestures are inexpressibly terrifying to gory tyrants suspected of fomenting law and order.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Computer games don't affect kids, I....
Computer games don't affect kids, I mean if Pac Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive music.-- Marcus Brigstocke

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Show me an objective worthy of....
Show me an objective worthy of war and I will go along with you.-- Otto Von Bismarck

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  At first cock-crow the ghosts must....
At first cock-crow the ghosts must go-- Theodosia_Garrison/"

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Beat a man with the strength....
Beat a man with the strength of you argument, not with the strength of your arm.-- Oliver Wendell Holmes

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Know from whence you came. If....
Know from whence you came. If you know whence you came, there are absolutely no limitations to where you can go.-- James Baldwin

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Monsieur l'abbé, I detest what you....
Monsieur l'abbé, I detest what you write, but I would give my life to make it possible for you to continue to write.-- Voltaire

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Science knows no country, because knowledge....
Science knows no country, because knowledge belongs to humanity, and is the torch which illuminates the world.-- Louis Pasteur

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  There are two means of refuge....
There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.-- Albert Schweitzer

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Whenever you hear the consensus of....
Whenever you hear the consensus of scientists agrees on something or other, reach for your wallet, because you're being had.-- Michael Crichton

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  When a whole nation is roaring....
When a whole nation is roaring Patriotism at the top of its voice, I am fain to explore the cleanness of its hands and purity of its heart.-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Music like religion, unconditionally brings in....
Music like religion, unconditionally brings in its train all the moral virtues to the heart it enters, even though that heart is not in the least worthy.-- Jean Baptiste Montegut

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Time is a cruel thief to....
Time is a cruel thief to rob us of our former selves. We lose as much to life as we do to death.-- Elizabeth Forsythe Hailey

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Anyone who lives within their means....
Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination. -- Oscar Wilde

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It is astonishing what force, purity,....
It is astonishing what force, purity, and wisdom it requires for a human being to keep clear of falsehoods.-- Margaret Fuller

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Imagination is the beginning of creation.....
Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will.-- George Bernard Shaw

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Outside every fat man there was....
Outside every fat man there was an even fatter man trying to close in.-- Kingsley Amis

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  If God created us in his....
If God created us in his own image, we have more than reciprocated.-- Voltaire

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Writers are vaccuum cleaners who suck....
Writers are vaccuum cleaners who suck up other people's lives and weave them into stories like a sparrow builds a nest from scraps.-- Garrison Keillor

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Christ died for our sins. Dare....
Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them?-- Jules Feiffer

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Liberal: a power worshipper without power.--....
Liberal: a power worshipper without power.-- George Orwell

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Personally I have struggled massively with....
Personally I have struggled massively with the dilemma of talent vs desire. Choosing desire may not always be the easiest thing to do. It may seem a waste to leave those natural talents behind and strike out in a new direction. But at least you'll feel alive.-- Meri Williams

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Never has a man who has....
Never has a man who has bent himself been able to make others straight.-- Mencius

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The first duty of a man....
The first duty of a man is the seeking after and the investigation of truth.-- Cicero

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  If this were played upon a....
If this were played upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction.-- William Shakespeare

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Nothing is impossible for the man....
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.-- A. H. Weiler

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  If thou are a master, be....
If thou are a master, be sometimes blind; if a servant, sometimes deaf.-- Thomas Fuller

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  How important it is for us....
How important it is for us to recognize and celebrate our heroes and she-roes!-- Maya Angelou

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Just because it's only 'stuff' doesn't....
Just because it's only 'stuff' doesn't mean I can't appreciate it while I have it.-- Starline X. Hodge

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It is possible to store the....
It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.-- Alec Bourne

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Spring is the time of the....
Spring is the time of the year, when it is summer in the sun and winter in the shade.-- Charles Dickens

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Famous remarks are very seldom quoted....
Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly.-- Simeon Strunsky

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Christian, n. One who follows the....
Christian, n. One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good....
EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It is only a poor sort....
It is only a poor sort of happiness that could ever come by caring very much about our own pleasures. We can only have the highest happiness such as goes along with being a great man, by having wide thoughts and much feeling for the rest of the world as well as ourselves.-- George Eliot

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  An artist does not fake reality--he....
An artist does not fake reality--he *stylizes* it.-- Ayn Rand

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  On account of us being a....
On account of us being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.-- Will Rogers

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The man who never alters his....
The man who never alters his opinions is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind.-- William Blake

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Keeping a little ahead of conditions....
Keeping a little ahead of conditions is one of the secrets of business-- Charles M. Schwab

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Everybody likes to go their own....
Everybody likes to go their own way--to choose their own time and manner of devotion.-- Jane Austen

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Youth would be an ideal state....
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.-- Herbert Henry Asquith

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Sometimes I sits and thinks, and....
Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits.-- Satchel Paige

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The birthplace of success for each....
The birthplace of success for each person is in his Inner-Consciousness. The Inner-Consciousness will use whatever it is given. If constructive thoughts are planted positive outcomes will be the result. Plant the seeds of failure and failure will follow. And since the only real freedom a person has is the choice of what thoughts he will feed to his Inner-Consciousness he is totally responsible for the outcomes he gets.-- Sidney Madwed

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Look, we play the Star Spangled....
Look, we play the Star Spangled Banner before every game. You want us to pay income taxes, too?-- Unknown (can you tell me?)

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  He was a burning and a....
He was a burning and a shining light.-- Bible

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  There is not any memory with....
There is not any memory with less satisfaction than the memory of some temptation we resisted.-- James Branch Cabell

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  In San Francisco, Haloween is redundant.--....
In San Francisco, Haloween is redundant.-- Will Durst

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  If you make the world a....
If you make the world a little better, then you have accomplished a great deal.-- Unknown

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  One man practicing sportsmanship is far....
One man practicing sportsmanship is far better than fifty preaching it. -- Knute Rockne

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I believe in an open mind,....
I believe in an open mind, but not so open that your brains fall out.-- Arthur Hays Sulzberger

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  A good son makes a good....
A good son makes a good husband.-- American Proverb

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I have never examined the subject....
I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.-- Mark Twain

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The actions of men are the....
The actions of men are the best interpreters of their thoughts.-- John Locke

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  However long the night, the dawn....
However long the night, the dawn will break.-- African Proverb

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  If you judge people, you have....
If you judge people, you have no time to love them.-- Mother Teresa

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  In life we don’t get what....
In life we don't get what we want, we get in life what we are. If we want more we have to be able to be more, in order to be more you have to face rejection.--

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  That is a good book which....
That is a good book which is opened with expectation and closed with profit.-- Amos Bronson Alcott

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  What a child doesn't receive he....
What a child doesn't receive he can seldom later give.-- P. D. James

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Every man has his follies --....
Every man has his follies -- and often they are the most interesting thing he had got.-- Josh Billings

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Every marriage is happy. Its the....
Every marriage is happy. Its the living together afterward that's the challenge.-- Ann Landers

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The poor on the borderline of....
The poor on the borderline of starvation live purposeful lives. To be engaged in a desperate struggle for food and shelter is to be wholly free from a sense of futility.-- Eric Hoffer

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Eat a live toad the first....
Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.-- Unknown

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Diplomacy is a continuation of war....
Diplomacy is a continuation of war by other means.-- Zhou En Lai

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  A friend is someone who knows....
A friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you just the same.-- Elbert Hubbard

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The religious challenge of this age....
The religious challenge of this age is to those farseeing and forward-looking men and women of spiritual insight who will dare to construct a new and appealing philosophy of living out of the enlarged and exquisitely integrated modern concepts of cosmic truth, universe beauty, and divine goodness. Such a new and righteous vision of morality will attract all that is good in the mind of man and challenge that which is best in the human soul. Truth, beauty, and goodness are divine realities, and as man ascends the scale of spiritual living, these supreme qualities of the Eternal become increasingly co-ordinated and unified in God, who is love. [43:3] Today's "Thought to Ponder" from The Urantia Book: The religious challenge of this age is to those farseeing and forward-looking men and women of spiritual insight who will dare to construct a new and appealing philosophy of living out of the enlarged and exquisitely integrated modern concepts of cosmic truth, universe beauty, and divine goo

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Daylight, in my mind, the night....
Daylight, in my mind, the night faded.-- Harper Lee

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  As if there were safety in....
As if there were safety in stupidity alone.-- Henry David Thoreau

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  PLAUDITS, n. Coins with which the....
PLAUDITS, n. Coins with which the populace pays those who tickle and devour it.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Familiarity breed contempt.-- Aesop ....
Familiarity breed contempt.-- Aesop

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Maybe it's easier to like someone....
Maybe it's easier to like someone else's life, and live vicariously through it, than take some responsiblity to change our lives into lives we might like.-- Tish Grier

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  If God did not exist, it....
If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.-- Voltaire

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Money is always there, but the....
Money is always there, but the pockets change.-- Gertrude Stein

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Be careful about reading health books.....
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.-- Mark Twain

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The greatest and most important problems....
The greatest and most important problems of life are all fundamentally insoluble. They can never be solved but only outgrown.-- Carl Jung

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  He who is not aware of....
He who is not aware of his ignorance will only be misled by his knowledge.-- Richard Whatley

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The world owes all its onward....
The world owes all its onward impulses to men ill at ease. The happy man inevitably confines himself within ancient limits.-- Nathaniel Hawthorne

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  She's the original good time that....
She's the original good time that was had by all.-- Bette Davis

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Ability will never catch up with....
Ability will never catch up with the demand for it.-- Malcolm Forbes

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  After the game, the king and....
After the game, the king and pawn go into the same box.-- Italian Proverb

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Think of yourself as an incandescent....
Think of yourself as an incandescent power, illuminated and perhaps forever talked to by God and his messengers.-- Brenda Ueland

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I feel like a million tonight....
I feel like a million tonight --- but one at a time.-- Mae West

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Men may seem detestable as joint....
Men may seem detestable as joint stock-companies and nations; knaves, fools, and murderers there may be; men may have mean and meagre faces; but man, in the ideal, is so noble and so sparkling, such a grand and glowing creature, that over any ignominious blemish in him all his fellows should run to throw their costliest robes.-- Herman Melville

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Enjoy when you can, and endure....
Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must.-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Niels Bohr the father of modern Quantum Physics
Niels Bohr is the father of modern Quantum Physics and someone I have a tremendous amount of respect for. This blog is no longer an hourly update of favoute quotes, but it will feature some from the brightest and the best. None come much brighter than Mr Bohr. Quantum Physics is an accessible and fascinating science and I would urge anyone to dive into it, it will change your life.


An expert is someone who knows some of the worst mistakes, which can be made, in a very narrow field.
Niels Bohr

Einstein, stop telling God what to do!
Niels Bohr

Every great and deep difficulty bears in itself its own solution. It forces us to change our thinking in order to find it.
Niels Bohr

Every sentence I utter must be understood not as an affirmation, but as a question.
Niels Bohr

A physicist is just an atom's way of looking at itself.
Niels Bohr

An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made, in a narrow field.
Niels Bohr

Everything we call real is made of things that cannot be regarded as real.
Niels Bohr

How wonderful that we have met with a paradox. Now we have some hope of making progress.
Niels Bohr

Your theory is crazy, but it's not crazy enough to be true.
Niels Bohr

If anybody says he can think about quantum physics without getting giddy, that only shows he has not understood the first thing about them.
Niels Bohr

If quantum mechanics hasn't profoundly shocked you, you haven't understood it yet.
Niels Bohr

It is wrong to think that the task of physics is to find out how Nature is. Physics concerns what we say about Nature.
Niels Bohr

When it comes to atoms, language can be used only as in poetry. The poet, too, is not nearly so concerned with describing facts as with creating images.
Niels Bohr

You are not thinking. You are merely being logical.
Niels Bohr

Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.
Niels Bohr

No, no, you're not thinking; you're just being logical.
Niels Bohr

Prediction is very difficult, especially if it's about the future.
Niels Bohr

Technology has advanced more in the last thirty years than in the previous two thousand. The exponential increase in advancement will only continue. Anthropological Commentary The opposite of a trivial truth is false; the opposite of a great truth is also true.
Niels Bohr

The best weapon of a dictatorship is secrecy, but the best weapon of a democracy should be the weapon of openness.
Niels Bohr

The opposite of a fact is falsehood, but the opposite of one profound truth may very well be another profound truth.
Niels Bohr

There are some things so serious you have to laugh at them.
Niels Bohr

There are trivial truths and the great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false. The opposite of a great truth is also true.
Niels Bohr

We are all agreed that your theory is crazy. The question which divides us is whether it is crazy enough to have a chance of being correct. My own feeling is that it is not crazy enough.
Niels Bohr

Labels:

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I submit that an individual who....
I submit that an individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for the law.-- Martin Luther King Jr.

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  When the stomach is full, it....
When the stomach is full, it is easy to talk of fasting.-- Saint Jerome

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  They are so damn 'intellectual' and....
They are so damn 'intellectual' and rotten that I can't stand them anymore....I [would] rather sit on the floor in the market of Toluca and sell tortillas, than have anything to do with those 'artistic' bitches of Paris.-- Frida Kahlo

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  To be beneficent when we can....
To be beneficent when we can is a duty; and besides this, there are many minds so sympathetically constituted that, without any other motive of vanity or self-interest, they find a pleasure in spreading joy around them, and can take delight in the satisfaction of others so far as it is their own work. But I maintain that in such a case an action of this kind, however proper, however amiable it may be, has nevertheless no true moral worth, but is on a level with other inclinations. ... For the maxim lacks the moral import, namely, that such actions be done from duty, not from inclination.-- Immanuel Kant

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Always behave like a duck -....
Always behave like a duck - keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath.-- Jacob Braude

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  There are no little events with....
There are no little events with the heart. It magnifies everything; it places in the same scales the fall of an empire of fourteen years and the dropping of a woman's glove, and almost always the glove weighs more than the empire.-- Honore de Balzac

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Preserving health by too severe a....
Preserving health by too severe a rule is a worrisome malady.-- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Sometimes being a friend means mastering....
Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go... And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over.-- Gloria Naylor

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action....
Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.-- Dale Carnegie

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Tradition is a guide and not....
Tradition is a guide and not a jailer.-- W. Somerset Maugham

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  We feel free when we escape....
We feel free when we escape -- even if it be but from the frying pan to the fire.-- Eric Hoffer

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It is the way we react....
It is the way we react to circumstances that determines our feelings.-- Dale Carnegie

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Generosity is giving more than you....
Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need. -- Kahlil Gibran

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  If a man withdraws his mind....
If a man withdraws his mind from the love of beauty, and applies it as sincerely to the love of the virtuous; if, in serving his parents, he can exert his utmost strength; if, in serving his prince, he can devote his life; if in his intercourse with his friends, his words are sincere - although men say that he has not learned, I will certainly say that he has.-- Confucius

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  For God hates utterly-- Sophocles/" ....
For God hates utterly-- Sophocles/"

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Before I go out to take....
Before I go out to take a picture of someone, I just stop at the city desk and say, 'Do you want him gazing out toward the sunset or picking his nose?'-- Calvin Trillin

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I thought ten thousand swords must....
I thought ten thousand swords must have leaped from their scabbards to avenge even a look that threatened her with insult. But the age of chivalry is gone.-- Edmund Burke

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The less you can live on,....
The less you can live on, the more chance your idea will succeed. This is true even after you've 'made it'.-- Hugh Macleod

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The conception of two people living....
The conception of two people living together for twenty-five years without having a cross word suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.-- Alan Patrick Herbert

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  First it is necessary to stand....
First it is necessary to stand on your own two feet. But the minute a man finds himself in that position, the next thing he should do is reach out his arms.-- Kristin Hunter

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  A good conscience is to the....
A good conscience is to the soul what health is to the body; it preserves constant ease and serenity within us; and more than countervails all the calamities and afflictions which can befall us from without.-- Joseph Addison

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I took a speed reading course....
I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.-- Woody Allen

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I stand by all the misstatements....
I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.-- Dan Quayle

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It isn't that they can't see....
It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem.-- G. K. Chesterton

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  POPULIST, n. A fossil patriot of....
POPULIST, n. A fossil patriot of the early agricultural period, found in the old red soapstone underlying Kansas; characterized by an uncommon spread of ear, which some naturalists contend gave him the power of flight, though Professors Morse and Whitney, pursuing independent lines of thought, have ingeniously pointed out that had he possessed it he would have gone elsewhere. In the picturesque speech of his period, some fragments of which have come down to us, he was known as "The Matter with Kansas."-- Ambrose Bierce

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  What is defeat? Nothing but education;....
What is defeat? Nothing but education; nothing but the first step to something better.-- Wendell Phillips

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I once said cynically of a....
I once said cynically of a politician, "He'll doublecross that bridge when he comes to it"-- Oscar Levant

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Truth has not special time of....
Truth has not special time of its own. Its hour is now -- always and indeed then most truly when it seems unsuitable to actual circumstances.-- Albert Schweitzer

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Learning is not attained by chance,....
Learning is not attained by chance, it must be sought for with ardor and attended to with diligence.-- Abigail Adams

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  If you listened hard enough the....
If you listened hard enough the first time, you might have heard what I meant to say.-- Unknown

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The big secret in life is....
The big secret in life is that there is no big secret. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you're willing to work.-- Oprah Winfrey

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The hoary head is a crown....
The hoary head is a crown of glory.-- Bible

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Existence precedes and rules essence.-- Jean-Paul....
Existence precedes and rules essence.-- Jean-Paul Sartre

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  You will always find [hatred] strongest....
You will always find [hatred] strongest and most violent where there is the lowest degree of culture.-- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Everyone in the world was programmed....
Everyone in the world was programmed by the place they were born, hemmed in by their beliefs, but you had to at least try to grow your own brain-- Scott Westerfeld

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  You must pray that the way....
You must pray that the way be long, full of adventures and experiences.-- Constantine Peter Cavafy

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  There is no such thing as....
There is no such thing as a natural death: nothing that happens to a man is ever natural, since his presence calls the world into question. All men must die: but for every man his death is an accident and, even if he knows it and consents to it, an unjustifiable violation.-- Simone de Beauvoir

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I have never been hurt by....
I have never been hurt by anything I didn't say.-- Calvin Coolidge

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Some national parks have long waiting....
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.-- George Carlin

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Probable-Possible, my black hen,-- ....
Probable-Possible, my black hen,--

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  At any rate, I am convinced....
At any rate, I am convinced that He [God] does not play dice.-- Albert Einstein

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The truest expression of a people....
The truest expression of a people is in its dances and its music... Bodies never lie.-- Agnes De Mille

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Men have no right to put....
Men have no right to put the well-being of the present generation wholly out of the question. Perhaps the only moral trust with any certainty in our hands is the care of our own time.-- Edmund Burke

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Let me not be understood as....
Let me not be understood as saying that there are no bad laws, nor that grievances may not arise for the redress of which no legal provisions have been made. I mean to say no such thing. But I do mean to say that although bad laws, if they exist, should be repealed as soon as possible, still, while they continue in force, for the sake of example they should be religiously observed.-- Abraham Lincoln

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  When ever the speech is corrupted....
When ever the speech is corrupted so is the mind.-- Seneca

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Everyone is in business for himself,....
Everyone is in business for himself, for he is selling his services, labor or ideas. Until one realizes that this is true he will not take conscious charge of his life and will always be looking outside himself for guidance.-- Sidney Madwed

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  In a time of universal deceit,....
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.-- George Orwell

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  No one can deny that much....
No one can deny that much of our modern advertising is essentially dishonest; and it can be maintained that to lie freely and all the time for private profit is not to abuse the right of free speech, whether it is a violation of the law or not. But again the practical question is, how much lying for private profit is to be permitted by law?-- Unknown (can you tell me?)

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Love seeketh not itself to please,--....
Love seeketh not itself to please,--

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Truth is so obscure in these....
Truth is so obscure in these times and falsehood so established that unless one loves the truth, he cannot know it.-- Blaise Pascal

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  LITIGANT, n. A person about to....
LITIGANT, n. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I don't want any "yes-men" around....
I don't want any "yes-men" around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs.-- Samuel Goldwyn

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Perfection is achieved, not when there....
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Though this be madness, yet there....
Though this be madness, yet there is method in 't.-- William Shakespeare

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The most radical revolutionary will become....
The most radical revolutionary will become a conservative the day after the revolution.-- Hannah Arendt

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Those who are faithful know only....
Those who are faithful know only the trivial side of love: it is the faithless who know love's tragedies.-- Oscar Wilde

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I've been rich and I’ve been....
I've been rich and I've been poor -- and believe me, rich is better.-- Sophie Tucker

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  For several days after my first....
For several days after my first book was published, I carried it about in my pocket and took surreptitious peeps at it to make sure the ink had not faded.-- James M. Barrie

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I don't like country music, but....
I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.-- Bob Newhart

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Wonder is what sets us apart....
Wonder is what sets us apart from other life forms. No other species wonders about the meaning of existence or the complexity of the universe or themselves.-- Herbert W. Boyer

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  My mother-in-law had a pain beneath....
My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.-- Phyllis Diller

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  All art is at once surface....
All art is at once surface and symbol. Those who go beneath the surface do so at their own peril. Those who read the symbol do so at their own peril.-- Oscar Wilde

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  To be an adult is to....
To be an adult is to be alone.-- Jean Rostand

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  For my part I know nothing....
For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.-- Vincent Van Gogh

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Good management is the art of....
Good management is the art of making problems so interesting and their solutions so constructive that everyone wants to get to work and deal with them.-- Paul Hawken

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The best years of your life....
The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You don't blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the President. You realize that you control your own destiny.-- Albert Ellis

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It is the part of a....
It is the part of a good shepherd to shear his flock, not to skin it.-- Latin proverb

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Facts are meaningless. You could use....
Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!-- Matt Groening

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Never tell people how to do....
Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.-- George S. Patton

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The person who says it cannot....
The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it.-- Chinese Proverb

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.

Google Video of the Day

Courtesy of Video.KiTT.NeT


Description
A collection of the best and most witty quotations in the world. I hope you enjoy my collection. Please bookmark this page and check back soon as it is updated every other hour! Subscribe for more fun!

Brought to You in League With...

UKRifter Virtual Reality
UKRifter Virtual Reality News from the world of Oculus,
HTC Vive, Razer HDK & Playstation VR. Subscribe today!



Previous Posts
[The television is] an invention that....
[The television is] an invention that....
[The superior man] acts before he....
Would that the Roman people had....
[He was] a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious....
[Optimism is] the obstinacy of maintaining....
Neither a borrower nor a lender....
[When asked what was the proper....
Separate together in a bunch. [And....
The ultimate good desired is better....

Archives
October 2006 / November 2006 / December 2006 / January 2007 / February 2007 / March 2007 / April 2007 / May 2007 / June 2007 / July 2007 / August 2007 / September 2007 / October 2007 / November 2007 / December 2007 / January 2008 / February 2008 / March 2008 / April 2008 / May 2008 / June 2008 / November 2008 / December 2008 / January 2009 / February 2009 / March 2009 / April 2009 / May 2009 / June 2009 / July 2009 / August 2009 / September 2009 / October 2009 / November 2009 / December 2009 / January 2010 / February 2010 / March 2010 / April 2010 / May 2010 / June 2010 / July 2010 / August 2010 / September 2010 / October 2010 / November 2010 / December 2010 / January 2011 / February 2011 / March 2011 / April 2011 / May 2011 / June 2011 / July 2011 / August 2011 / September 2011 / October 2011 / November 2011 / December 2011 / January 2012 / February 2012 / March 2012 / April 2012 / May 2012 / June 2012 / July 2012 / August 2012 / September 2012 / October 2012 / November 2012 / December 2012 /

Twitter Facebook
MySpace Digg
Hit a button to share with your friends

Powered by Blogger