Famous Quotes from Inspirational People

  When people have no other tyrant,....
When people have no other tyrant, their own public opinion becomes one.-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Customs are more powerful than laws.--....
Customs are more powerful than laws.-- The Talmud

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The most enviable writers are those....
The most enviable writers are those who, quite often unanalytically and unconsciously, have realized that there are different facets to their nature and are able to live and work with now one, now another, in the ascendant.-- Dorothea Brande

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  If you could be God's worst....
If you could be God's worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose?-- Chuck Palahniuk

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Let no one be willing to....
Let no one be willing to speak ill of the absent.-- Sextus Propertius

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It is better to deserve honors....
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.-- Mark Twain

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It is by universal misunderstanding that....
It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree.-- Charles Baudelaire

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  People who learn to control inner....
People who learn to control inner experience will be able to determine the quality of their lives, which is as close as any of us can come to being happy.-- Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  To some lawyers all facts are....
To some lawyers all facts are created equal.-- Felix Frankfurter

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Common sense is as rare as....
Common sense is as rare as genius.-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Love, n - A temporary insanity....
Love, n - A temporary insanity curable by marriage.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  And forget not that the earth....
And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.-- Kahlil Gibran

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Approach each new problem not with....
Approach each new problem not with a view of finding what you hope will be there, but to get the truth, the realities that must be grappled with. You may not like what you find. In that case you are entitled to try to change it. But do not deceive yourself as to what you do find to be the facts of the situation.-- Bernard M. Baruch

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Humor is just another defense against....
Humor is just another defense against the universe.-- Mel Brooks

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  TZETZE (or TSETSE) FLY, n. An....
TZETZE (or TSETSE) FLY, n. An African insect (_Glossina morsitans_) whose bite is commonly regarded as nature's most efficacious remedy for insomnia, though some patients prefer that of the American novelist (_Mendax interminabilis_).-- Ambrose Bierce

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Students achieving Oneness will move on....
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.-- Woody Allen

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  We did a variant of the....
We did a variant of the intern thing. We hired people as consultants for a specific thing and then if they were good, offered them a job.-- Joshua Schachter

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  People will accept your ideas much....
People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first.-- David H. Comins

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The world to a blind man....
The world to a blind man is his touch. The world to a stupid man is his mouth. The world to a great man is his vision.-- Paul Harvey

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Men, it has been well said,....
Men, it has been well said, think in herds; it will be seen that they go mad in herds, while they only recover their senses slowly, and one by one.-- Charles Mackay

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Say what you have to say,....
Say what you have to say, not what you ought. any truth is better than make-Believe!-- Henry David Thoreau

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  He who has never failed somewhere.....
He who has never failed somewhere. . . that man can not be great.-- Herman Melville

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The fact that a believer is....
The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.-- George Bernard Shaw

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  If writers stopped writing about what....
If writers stopped writing about what happened to them, then there would be a lot of empty pages.-- Elaine Liner

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  MINE, adj. Belonging to me if....
MINE, adj. Belonging to me if I can hold or seize it.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  If you can attain repose and....
If you can attain repose and calm, believe that you have seized happiness.-- Julie-Jeanne-Eleonore de Lespinasse

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  INCUMBENT, n. A person of the....
INCUMBENT, n. A person of the liveliest interest to the outcumbents.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  O, woe is me,-- William_Shakespeare/" ....
O, woe is me,-- William_Shakespeare/"

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Outside show is a poor substitution....
Outside show is a poor substitution for inner worth.-- Aesop

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  EAT, v.i. To perform successively (and....
EAT, v.i. To perform successively (and successfully) the functions of mastication, humectation, and deglutition.-- Ambrose_Bierce/"

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Injustice is relatively easy to bear;....
Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice.-- H. L. Mencken

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The Office does not sanctify the....
The Office does not sanctify the holder of it.-- Robert Heinlein

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable....
Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.-- Unknown

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Your first appearance, he said to....
Your first appearance, he said to me, is the gauge by which you will be measured; try to manage that you may go beyond yourself in after times, but beware of ever doing less.-- Jean Jacques Rousseau

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Bisonburger from the herd that appeared....
Bisonburger from the herd that appeared in 'Dances With Wolves.'-- Unknown (can you tell me?)

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence....
Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell.-- William Strunk Jr.

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The man who comes with a....
The man who comes with a tale about others has himself an ax to grind.-- Chinese proverb

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  We have a firm commitment to....
We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a *part* of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a *part* of Europe.-- Dan Quayle

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  To alcohol! The cause of, and....
To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.-- Matt Groening

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The best thing to give to....
The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity.-- Francis Maitland Balfour

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I usually approach things with the....
I usually approach things with the idea that I will take something out of everything I do.-- Heather Armstrong

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Deep experience is never peaceful.-- Henry....
Deep experience is never peaceful.-- Henry James

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Ask about your neighbors, then buy....
Ask about your neighbors, then buy the house.-- Jewish Proverb

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  EFFECT, n. The second of two....
EFFECT, n. The second of two phenomena which always occur together in the same order. The first, called a Cause, is said to generate the other -- which is no more sensible than it would be for one who has never seen a dog except in the pursuit of a rabbit to declare the rabbit the cause of a dog.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I think it is good that....
I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.-- Frank Zappa

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Virtue can only flourish among equals.--....
Virtue can only flourish among equals.-- Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  America is the only nation in....
America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilization.-- Georges Clemenceau

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Opportunity may knock only once, but....
Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.-- Unknown

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I do not fear Satan half....
I do not fear Satan half so much as I fear those who fear him.-- Saint Teresa of Avila

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  A man cannot be too careful....
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.-- Oscar Wilde

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  MacDonald has the gift of compressing....
MacDonald has the gift of compressing the largest amount of words into the smallest amount of thoughts.-- Sir Winston Churchill

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Our remedies oft in ourselves do....
Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie.-- William Shakespeare

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Few things are impossible to diligence....
Few things are impossible to diligence and skill.-- Samuel Johnson

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  A poet ought not to pick....
A poet ought not to pick nature's pocket. Let him borrow, and so borrow as to repay by the very act of borrowing. Examine nature accurately, but write from recollection, and trust more to the imagination than the memory.-- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The function of government ought to....
The function of government ought to be: make sure you have good water to drink, somebody picking up the garbage, good roads to drive on, enough electricity to turn your light bulbs and your record player on, and whatever smaller amounts of regulatory assistance is necessary to make this society work.-- Frank Zappa

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Once a man has some money,....
Once a man has some money, peace begins to sound good to him.-- Clint Eastwood

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Every women needs at least 4....
Every women needs at least 4 animals. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass that pays for everything.-- Paris Hilton

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  A woman should never be trusted....
A woman should never be trusted with money.-- Jane Austen

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Eat a third and drink a....
Eat a third and drink a third and leave the remaining third of your stomach empty. Then, when you get angry, there will be sufficient room for your rage.-- Babylonian Talmud

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Practice Random Acts of Kindness and....
Practice Random Acts of Kindness and Senseless Beauty.-- Unknown

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Live each season as it passes;....
Live each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each.-- Henry David Thoreau

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  IMPUNITY, n. Wealth.-- Ambrose Bierce ....
IMPUNITY, n. Wealth.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Follow your inclinations with due regard....
Follow your inclinations with due regard to the policeman round the corner.-- W. Somerset Maugham

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Baseball is like church. Many attend,....
Baseball is like church. Many attend, few understand.-- Leo Durocher

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  You never really understand a person....
You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view.-- Harper Lee

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Whenever a man does a thoroughly....
Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives.-- Oscar Wilde

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  You find yourself refreshed by the....
You find yourself refreshed by the presence of cheerful people. Why not make an honest effort to confer that pleasure on others? Half the battle is gained if you never allow yourself to say anything gloomy.-- Lydia M. Child

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  When defeat is inevitable, it is....
When defeat is inevitable, it is wisest to yield.-- Quintilian

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  "Do you consider yourself a disciplined....
"Do you consider yourself a disciplined guy? Do you get up every day and `go to work'?"-- Dick Cavett and Jimi Hendrix

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The hardest thing to learn in....
The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.-- David Russell

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  What saves a man is to....
What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step. It is always the same step, but you have to take it.-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The good man is the teacher....
The good man is the teacher of the bad,-- Unknown (can you tell me?)

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  There ought to be one day--....
There ought to be one day-- just one-- when there is open season on senators.-- Will Rogers

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The superior man, when resting in....
The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.-- Confucius

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Go tell the Spartans,-- ....
Go tell the Spartans,--

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Children need love, especially when they....
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. -- Harold S. Hulbert

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  A single death is a tragedy;....
A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.-- Joseph Stalin

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Give me the liberty to know,....
Give me the liberty to know, to utter, and to argue freely according to conscience, above all liberties.-- John Milton

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Be careful what you pretend to....
Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be.-- Kurt Vonnegut

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Patriotism is often an arbitrary veneration....
Patriotism is often an arbitrary veneration of real estate above principles.-- George Jean Nathan

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  To be what we are, and....
To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming is the only end of life.-- Robert Louis Stevenson

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  In a way, staring into a....
In a way, staring into a computer screen is like staring into an eclipse. It's brilliant and you don't realize the damage until its too late."-- Unknown (can you tell me?)

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It is a true saying that....
It is a true saying that "One falsehood leads easily to another".-- Cicero

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Remember not only to say the....
Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.-- Benjamin Franklin

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Jane Austen is the pinnacle to....
Jane Austen is the pinnacle to which all other authors aspire.-- J. K. Rowling

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Throughout life, one does not miss....
Throughout life, one does not miss any chance to hold onto the things that are really precious, if one is truly wise.-- Ed Greenwood

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Sometimes the measure of friendship isn't....
Sometimes the measure of friendship isn't your ability to not harm but your capacity to forgive the things done to you and ask forgiveness for your own mistakes.-- Randy K. Milholland

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  A slip of the foot you....
A slip of the foot you may soon recover, but a slip of the tongue you may never get over.-- Benjamin Franklin

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Life loves to be taken by....
Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told, 'I'm with you kid. Let's go.'-- Maya Angelou

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Science is the record of dead....
Science is the record of dead religions.-- Oscar Wilde

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Faith is a cop-out. If the....
Faith is a cop-out. If the only way you can accept an assertion is by faith, then you are conceding that it can't be taken on its own merits.-- Dan Barker

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It's not a bad idea to....
It's not a bad idea to get in the habit of writing down one's thoughts. It saves one having to bother anyone with them.-- Isabel Colegate

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Heaven goes by favour. If it....
Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.-- Mark Twain

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Men and women, women and men.....
Men and women, women and men. It will never work.-- Erica Jong

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It is an illusion that youth....
It is an illusion that youth is happy, an illusion of those who have lost it; but the young know they are wretched for they are full of the truthless ideal which have been instilled into them, and each time they come in contact with the real, they are bruised and wounded.-- W. Somerset Maugham

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The man who lets himself be....
The man who lets himself be bored is even more contemptible than the bore.-- Samuel Butler

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  A truly great book should be....
A truly great book should be read in youth, again in maturity and once more in old age, as a fine building should be seen by morning light, at noon and by moonlight.-- Robertson Davies

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Dear Mary: We all knew you....
Dear Mary: We all knew you had it in you.-- Dorothy Parker

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Think of all the beauty still....
Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.-- Anne Frank

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Next to selfishness the principal cause....
Next to selfishness the principal cause which makes life unsatisfactory is want of mental cultivation.-- John Stuart Mill

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Trying to define yourself is like....
Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth.-- Alan Watts

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  But far more numerous was the....
But far more numerous was the herd of such,-- John_Dryden/"

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Virtue has its own reward, but....
Virtue has its own reward, but no box office.-- Mae West

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I was born not knowing and....
I was born not knowing and have only had a little time to change that here and there.-- Richard Feynman

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Only put off until tomorrow what....
Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.-- Pablo Picasso

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  War is a cowardly escape from....
War is a cowardly escape from the problems of peace.-- Thomas Mann

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  No man is happy who does....
No man is happy who does not think himself so.-- Publilius Syrus

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Let us overthrow the totems, break....
Let us overthrow the totems, break the taboos. Or better, let us consider them cancelled. Coldly, let us be intelligent.-- Pierre Trudeau

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Anyone can be an idealist. Anyone....
Anyone can be an idealist. Anyone can be a cynic. The hard part lies somewhere in the middle i.e. being human.-- Hugh Macleod

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  There is no one, no matter....
There is no one, no matter how wise he is, who has not in his youth said things or done things that are so unpleasant to recall in later life that he would expunge them entirely from his memory if that were possible.-- Marcel Proust

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Do not listen to those who....
Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious.-- Og Mandino

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Silly is you in a natural....
Silly is you in a natural state, and serious is something you have to do until you can get silly again.-- Mike Meyers

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Not life, but good life, is....
Not life, but good life, is to be chiefly valued.-- Socrates

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  A schedule defends from chaos and....
A schedule defends from chaos and whim.-- Annie Dillard

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I see America, not in the....
I see America, not in the setting sun of a black night of despair ahead of us, I see America in the crimson light of a rising sun fresh from the burning, creative hand of God. I see great days ahead, great days possible to men and women of will and vision.-- Carl Sandburg

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Man is the only animal that....
Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.-- Samuel Butler

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  In great affairs men show themselves....
In great affairs men show themselves as they wish to be seen; in small things they show themselves as they are.-- Nicholas Chamfort

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Discretion is not the better part....
Discretion is not the better part of biography.-- Lytton Strachey

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  He who desires, but acts not,....
He who desires, but acts not, breeds pestilence.-- William Blake

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The highest reward for a man's....
The highest reward for a man's toil is not what he gets for it, but what he becomes.-- John Ruskin

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Conquer thyself, till thou has done....
Conquer thyself, till thou has done this, thou art but a slave; for it is almost as well to be subjected to another's appetite as to thine own.-- Sir Richard Francis Burton

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  We have flown the air like....
We have flown the air like birds and swum the seas like fishes, but have yet to learn the simple act of walking the earth like brothers.-- Martin Luther King Jr.

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I have the simplest of tastes.....
I have the simplest of tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.-- Oscar Wilde

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Civilization is the art of living....
Civilization is the art of living in towns of such size the everyone does not know everyone else.-- Julian Jaynes

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It is horrifying that we have....
It is horrifying that we have to fight our own government to save the environment.-- Ansel Adams

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I used to be a lawyer,....
I used to be a lawyer, but now I am a reformed character.-- Woodrow Wilson

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Men decide far more problems by....
Men decide far more problems by hate, love, lust, rage, sorrow, joy, hope, fear, illusion, or some other inward emotion, than by reality, authority, any legal standard, judicial precedent, or statute.-- Cicero

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Great art is as irrational as....
Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness.-- George Jean Nathan

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Often we can achieve an even....
Often we can achieve an even better result when we stumble yet are willing to start over, when we don't give up after a mistake, when something doesn't come easily but we throw ourselves into trying, when we're not afraid to appear less than perfectly polished.-- Sharon Salzberg

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The nice thing about standards is....
The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.-- Andrew S. Tanenbaum

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Nothing is stronger than habit.-- Ovid....
Nothing is stronger than habit.-- Ovid

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It was never what I wanted....
It was never what I wanted to buy that held my heart's hope. It was what I wanted to be.-- Lois McMaster Bujold

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  For whereas the mind works in....
For whereas the mind works in possibilities, the intuitions work in actualities, and what you intuitively desire, that is possible to you. Whereas what you mentally or "consciously" desire is nine times out of ten impossible; hitch your wagon to star, or you will just stay where you are.-- D. H. Lawrence

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  What a new face courage puts....
What a new face courage puts on everything.-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Any man who tries to excite....
Any man who tries to excite class hatred, sectional hate, hate of creeds, any kind of hatred in our community, though he may affect to do it in the interest of the class he is addressing, is in the long run with absolute certainly that class's own worst enemy.-- Theodore Roosevelt

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The office of poetry is not....
The office of poetry is not to make us think accurately, but feel truly.-- Frederick William Robertson

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  A man who doesn't trust himself....
A man who doesn't trust himself can never truly trust anyone else.-- Cardinal de Retz

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  God seems to have left the....
God seems to have left the receiver off the hook and time is running out.-- Arthur Koestler

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  HAG, n. An elderly lady whom....
HAG, n. An elderly lady whom you do not happen to like; sometimes called, also, a hen, or cat. Old witches, sorceresses, etc., were called hags from the belief that their heads were surrounded by a kind of baleful lumination or nimbus -- hag being the popular name of that peculiar electrical light sometimes observed in the hair. At one time hag was not a word of reproach: Drayton speaks of a "beautiful hag, all smiles," much as Shakespeare said, "sweet wench." It would not now be proper to call your sweetheart a hag -- that compliment is reserved for the use of her grandchildren.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I long to accomplish a great....
I long to accomplish a great and noble task; but it is my chief duty and joy to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble.-- Helen Keller

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It is within the families themselves....
It is within the families themselves where peace can begin.-- Susan Partnow

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The Constitution gives every American the....
The Constitution gives every American the inalienable right to make a damn fool of himself.-- John Ciardi

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Honesty may be the best policy,....
Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.-- George Carlin

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I have noticed that the people....
I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.-- E. V. Lucas

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The best plan is to profit....
The best plan is to profit by the folly of others.-- Pliny the Elder

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The great aim of education is....
The great aim of education is not knowledge but action.-- Herbert Spencer

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Thankfully, beauty is easier to remove....
Thankfully, beauty is easier to remove than apply, and a swipe of demaquillage in the right direction and you are you once again.-- Margaret Cho

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I was walking down the street....
I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.-- Steven Wright

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  There are some things you learn....
There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm.-- Willa Cather

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  People who say you're just as....
People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately.-- Russell Baker

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  They who lack talent expect things....
They who lack talent expect things to happen without effort. They ascribe failure to a lack of inspiration or ability, or to misfortune, rather than to insufficient application. At the core of every true talent there is an awareness of the difficulties inherent in any achievement, and the confidence that by persistence and patience something worthwhile will be realized. Thus talent is a species of vigor.-- Eric Hoffer

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It is an error to imagine....
It is an error to imagine that evolution signifies a constant tendency to increased perfection. That process undoubtedly involves a constant remodelling of the organism in adaptation to new conditions; but it depends on the nature of those conditions whether the directions of the modifications effected shall be upward or downward.-- Thomas H. Huxley

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  So little time and so little....
So little time and so little to do.-- Oscar Levant

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  KLEPTOMANIAC, n. A rich thief.-- Ambrose....
KLEPTOMANIAC, n. A rich thief.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Many of life's failures are those....
Many of life's failures are those who didn't know how close they were to success when they gave up.-- Thomas A. Edison

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Only good girls keep diaries. Bad....
Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don't have time.-- Tallulah Bankhead

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  With regard to excellence, it is....
With regard to excellence, it is not enough to know, but we must try to have and use it.-- Aristotle

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  A pound of pluck is worth....
A pound of pluck is worth a ton of luck.-- James A. Garfield

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  If I have ever made any....
If I have ever made any valuable discoveries, it has been owing more to patient attention, than to any other talent.-- Isaac Newton

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Sometimes the mind, for reasons we....
Sometimes the mind, for reasons we don't necessarily understand, just decides to go to the store for a quart of milk.-- Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The wise learn many things from....
The wise learn many things from their enemies.-- Aristophanes

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  My home is not a place,....
My home is not a place, it is people.-- Lois McMaster Bujold

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Seldom, very seldom, does complete truth....
Seldom, very seldom, does complete truth belong to any human disclosure; seldom can it happen that something is not a little disguised, or a little mistaken.-- Jane Austen

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Gambling promises the poor what property....
Gambling promises the poor what property performs for the rich--something for nothing.-- George Bernard Shaw

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  God has two dwellings: one in....
God has two dwellings: one in heaven, and the other in a meek and thankful heart. -- Izaak Walton

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Know ye not that a little....
Know ye not that a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump?-- Bible

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  No one who has read official....
No one who has read official documents needs to be told how easy it is to conceal the essential truth under the apparently candid and all- disclosing phrases of a voluminous and particularizing report....-- Woodrow Wilson

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I have found little that is....
I have found little that is good about human beings. In my experience most of them, on the whole, are trash.-- Sigmund Freud

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  My theory of evolution is that....
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.-- Steven Wright

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  America has never been united by....
America has never been united by blood or birth or soil. We are bound by ideals that move us beyond our backgrounds, lift us above our interests and teach us what it means to be citizens.-- George W. Bush

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Eternal nothingness is fine if you....
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.-- Woody Allen

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It is not the man who....
It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.-- Seneca

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I should rather labor as another's....
I should rather labor as another's serf, in the home of a man without fortune, one whose livelihood was meager, than rule over all the departed dead.-- Homer

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  We often think that when we....
We often think that when we have completed our study of one we know all about two, because 'two' is 'one and one.' We forget that we have still to make of a study of 'and.'-- Sir Arthur Eddington

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Psychoanalysts are father confessors who like....
Psychoanalysts are father confessors who like to listen to the sins of the father as well.-- Karl Kraus

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  When one door of happiness closes,....
When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.-- Helen Keller

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Is virtue a thing remote? I....
Is virtue a thing remote? I wish to be virtuous, and lo! Virtue is at hand.-- Confucius

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  "I am" is reportedly the shortest....
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? -- George Carlin

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  A politician will always tip off....
A politician will always tip off his true belief by stating the opposite at the beginning of the sentence. For maximum comprehension, do not start listening until the first clause is concluded. Begin instead at the word "but" which begins the second, or active, clause. This is the way to tell a liberal from a conservative -- before they tell you.-- Frank Mankiewicz

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  My business is not to remake....
My business is not to remake myself, But make the absolute best of what God made.-- Robert Browning

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Be you in what line of....
Be you in what line of life you may, it will be amongst your misfortunes if you have not time properly to attend to pecuniary [monetary] matters. Want of attention to these matters has impeded the progress of science and of genius itself.-- William Cobbett

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  If you have something to say,....
If you have something to say, then say it. If not, enjoy the silence while it lasts. The noise will return soon enough. In the meantime, you're better off going out into the big, wide world, having some adventures and refilling your well. Trying to create when you don't feel like it is like making conversation for the sake of making conversation.-- Hugh Macleod

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  He who multiplies riches multiplies cares.--....
He who multiplies riches multiplies cares.-- Benjamin Franklin

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  There are two ways of resisting....
There are two ways of resisting war: the legal way and the revolutionary way. The legal way involves the offer of alternatinve service not as a privilege for a few but as a right for all. The revolutionary view involves an uncompromising resistance, with a view to breaking the power of militarism in time of peace or the resources of the state in time of war.-- Albert Einstein

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I was thought to be 'stuck....
I was thought to be 'stuck up.' I wasn't. I was just sure of myself. This is and always has been an unforgivable quality to the unsure.-- Bette Davis

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  If you want to be respected....
If you want to be respected by others the great thing is to respect yourself. Only by that, only by self-respect will you compel others to respect you.-- Fyodor Dostoevsky

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Method acting? There are quite a....
Method acting? There are quite a few methods. Mine involves a lot of talent, a glass and some cracked ice.-- John Barrymore

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Oh what a tangled web we....
Oh what a tangled web we weave,-- Sir_Walter_Scott/"

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  If you can't feed a hundred....
If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.-- Mother Teresa

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Learn from the earliest days to....
Learn from the earliest days to insure your principles against the perils of ridicule; you can no more exercise your reason if you live in the constant dread of laughter, that you can enjoy your life if you are in the constant terror of death.-- Sydney Smith

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Doctors don't know everything really. They....
Doctors don't know everything really. They understand matter, not spirit. And you and I live in spirit.-- William Saroyan

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  CLERGYMAN, n. A man who undertakes....
CLERGYMAN, n. A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of better his temporal ones.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The more you sweat in peace,....
The more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war.-- George S. Patton

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Tact is the art of making....
Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.-- Unknown

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Opinions founded on prejudice are always....
Opinions founded on prejudice are always sustained with the greatest of violence.-- Francis Jeffrey

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Understand that legal and illegal are....
Understand that legal and illegal are political, and often arbitrary, categorizations; use and abuse are medical, or clinical, distinctions.-- Abbie Hoffman

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I grew up in Europe, where....
I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.-- Eddie Izzard

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Never have anything to do with....
Never have anything to do with an unlucky place, or an unlucky man. I have seen many clever men, very clever men, who had not shoes to their feet. I never act with them. Their advice sounds very well, but they cannot get on themselves; and if they cannot do good to themselves, how can they do good for me?-- Unknown (can you tell me?)

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Geography is just physics slowed down,....
Geography is just physics slowed down, with a couple of trees stuck in it.-- Terry Pratchett

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  If a word in the dictionary....
If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know?-- Steven Wright

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The lion and the calf shall....
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.-- Woody Allen

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The secret of all power is....
The secret of all power is - save your force. If you want high pressure you must choke off waste.-- Joseph Farrell

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  My second favorite household chore is....
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.-- Erma Bombeck

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Fasting and natural diet, though essentially....
Fasting and natural diet, though essentially unknown [in today's U.S.] as a therapy, should be the first treatment when someone discovers that she or he has a medical problem. It should not be applied only to the most advanced cases, as is present practice. Whether the patient has a cardiac condition, hypertension, autoimmune disease, fibroids, or asthma, he or she must be informed that fasting and natural, plant-based diets are a viable alternative to conventional therapy, and an effective one. The time may come when not offering this substantially more effective nutritional approach will be considered malpractice.-- Joel Fuhrman, M.D.

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  To achieve great things we must....
To achieve great things we must live as though we were never going to die.-- Marquis de Vauvenargues

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Either I've been missing something or....
Either I've been missing something or nothing has been going on.-- Karen Elizabeth Gordon

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet....
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.-- Mark Twain

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I feel a very unusual sensation....
I feel a very unusual sensation - if it is not indigestion, I think it must be gratitude.-- Benjamin Disraeli

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  What we call pleasure, and rightly....
What we call pleasure, and rightly so is the absence of all pain.-- Cicero

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Segregation is the adultery of an....
Segregation is the adultery of an illicit intercourse between injustice and immorality.-- Martin Luther King Jr.

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Our greatest natural resource is the....
Our greatest natural resource is the minds of our children.-- Walt Disney

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The women's movement hasn't changed my....
The women's movement hasn't changed my sex life. It wouldn't dare.-- Zsa Zsa Gabor

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Make money and the whole nation....
Make money and the whole nation will conspire to call you a gentleman.-- George Bernard Shaw

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Yet man is born unto trouble,....
Yet man is born unto trouble, as the sparks fly upward.-- Bible

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Trouble is part of your life,....
Trouble is part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough.-- Dinah Shore

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It takes tremendous discipline to control....
It takes tremendous discipline to control the influence, the power you have over other people's lives.-- Clint Eastwood

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It's traditional for an heiress to....
It's traditional for an heiress to be raised in a sheltered way. No one thinks that's true of me, but it actually was.-- Paris Hilton

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The advantage of a classical education....
The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth that it prevents you from achieving.-- Russell Green

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Safety is only an illusion, and....
Safety is only an illusion, and letting it go is part of listening to the silence, and to the Spirit.-- Madeleine L'Engle

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  In the education of children there....
In the education of children there is nothing like alluring the interest and affection, otherwise you only make so many asses laden with books.-- Michel de Montaigne

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Outings are so much more fun....
Outings are so much more fun when we can savor them through the children's eyes.-- Lawana Blackwell

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  He who promises more than he....
He who promises more than he is able to perform, is false to himself; and he who does not perform what he has promised, is a traitor to his friend.-- George Shelley

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  He who undervalues himself is justly....
He who undervalues himself is justly undervalued by others.-- William Hazlitt

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  No man is defeated without until....
No man is defeated without until he is defeated within.-- Eleanor Roosevelt

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  As long as humanity has been....
As long as humanity has been human, it has looked toward the heavens and dreamed that some day, some way, there would be giant federal contracts involved.-- Dave Barry

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The principles now planted in thy....
The principles now planted in thy bosom will grow, and one day reach maturity; and in that maturity thou wilt find thy heaven or thy hell.-- David Thomas

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Do not accustom yourself to use....
Do not accustom yourself to use big words for little matters.-- Samuel Johnson

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I've never known any trouble that....
I've never known any trouble that an hour's reading didn't assuage.-- Charles De Secondat

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Be glad of life because it....
Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love, and to work, and to play and to look up at the stars.-- Henry Van Dyke

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I foresee the time when industry....
I foresee the time when industry shall no longer denude the forests which require generations to mature, nor use up the mines which were ages in the making, but shall draw its materials largely from the annual produce of the fields.-- Henry Ford

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  A man who procrastinates in his....
A man who procrastinates in his choosing will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance.-- Hunter S. Thompson

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I have made this letter long....
I have made this letter long because i have not the time to make it shorter.-- Blaise Pascal

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The best measure of a man's....
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.-- Arthur C. Clarke

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Whom the gods would destroy, they....
Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad.-- Euripides

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The first half of our lives....
The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the last half by our children.-- Clarence Darrow

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Men are born to succeed, not....
Men are born to succeed, not fail.-- Henry David Thoreau

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Television and film demand that people....
Television and film demand that people at all levels have brass balls or brass ovaries. Unfortunately, we live in the reign of the eunuch.-- Rita Mae Brown

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  When in doubt, tell the truth.--....
When in doubt, tell the truth.-- Mark Twain

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  As Mankind becomes more liberal, they....
As Mankind becomes more liberal, they will be more apt to allow that all those who conduct themselves as worthy members of the community are equally entitled to the protections of civil government. I hope ever to see America among the foremost nations of justice and liberality.-- George Washington

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Habit is necessary; it is the....
Habit is necessary; it is the habit of having habits, of turning a trail into a rut, that must be incessantly fought against if one is to remain alive.-- Edith Wharton

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  EMOTION, n. A prostrating disease caused....
EMOTION, n. A prostrating disease caused by a determination of the heart to the head. It is sometimes accompanied by a copious discharge of hydrated chloride of sodium from the eyes.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Those who trust to chance must....
Those who trust to chance must abide by the results of chance.-- Calvin Coolidge

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The trouble with jogging is that....
The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.-- Martin Mull

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I have given up reading books;....
I have given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself.-- Oscar Levant

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  All of us failed to match....
All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. So I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible.-- William Faulkner

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It will be hard to discover....
It will be hard to discover a better [method of education] than that which the experience of so many ages has already discovered, and this may be summed up as consisting in gymnastics for the body, and _music_ for the soul... For this reason is a musical education so essential; since it causes Rhythm and Harmony to penetrate most intimately into the soul, taking the strongest hold upon it, filling it with _beauty_ and making the man _beautiful-minded_.-- Plato

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Never play cards with a man....
Never play cards with a man called Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own.-- Nelson Algren

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Our bodies communicate to us clearly....
Our bodies communicate to us clearly and specifically, if we are willing to listen to them.-- Shakti Gawain

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The only joy in the world....
The only joy in the world is to begin.-- Cesare Pavese

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Remove every barrier you can to....
Remove every barrier you can to fandom. A fan will be an evangelist for your work.-- Dave Kellett

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Pride sullies the noblest character.-- Claudianus....
Pride sullies the noblest character.-- Claudianus

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Getting ahead in a difficult profession....
Getting ahead in a difficult profession requires avid faith in yourself. That is why some people with mediocre talent, but with great inner drive, go much further than people with vastly superior talent.-- Sophia Loren

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I know half the money I....
I know half the money I spend on advertising is wasted. Now, if I only knew which half.-- John Wanamaker

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  When you have given nothing, ask....
When you have given nothing, ask for nothing.-- Albanian Proverb

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  If it weren't for Philo T.....
If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.-- Johnny Carson

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It is often merely for an....
It is often merely for an excuse that we say things are impossible.-- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Books are the legacies that a....
Books are the legacies that a great genius leaves to mankind, which are delivered down from generation to generation as presents to the posterity of those who are yet unborn.-- Joseph Addison

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Success is that old ABC --....
Success is that old ABC -- ability, breaks, and courage.-- Charles Luckman

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It is an odd thing, but....
It is an odd thing, but everyone who disappears is said to be seen at San Francisco. It must be a delightful city, and possess all the attractions of the next world.-- Oscar Wilde

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Everything comes to him who waits....
Everything comes to him who waits but a loaned book.-- Kin Hubbard

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  To save your world you asked....
To save your world you asked this man to die;-- W._H._Auden/"

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Errors to be dangerous must have....
Errors to be dangerous must have a great deal of truth mingled with them. It is only from this alliance that they can ever obtain an extensive circulation.-- Sydney Smith

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Nothing is so awesomely unfamiliar as....
Nothing is so awesomely unfamiliar as the familiar that discloses itself at the end of a journey.-- Cynthia Ozick

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  What's up, Doc?-- Tex Avery ....
What's up, Doc?-- Tex Avery

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  One might equate growing up with....
One might equate growing up with a mistrust of words. A mature person trusts his eyes more than his ears. Irrationality often manifests itself in upholding the word against the evidence of the eyes. Children, savages and true believers remember far less what they have seen than what they have heard.-- Eric Hoffer

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The continued propinquity of another human....
The continued propinquity of another human being cramps the style after a time unless that person is somebody you think you love. Then the burden becomes intolerable at once.-- Quentin Crisp

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  If for a tranquil mind you....
If for a tranquil mind you seek,--

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  CONGRESS, n. A body of men....
CONGRESS, n. A body of men who meet to repeal laws.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Nothing will benefit human health and....
Nothing will benefit human health and increase the chances for survival of life on Earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet.-- Albert Einstein

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Man is the only animal that....
Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.-- Samuel Butler

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  If you don't have a plan....
If you don't have a plan for yourself, you'll be a part of someone else's.-- American Proverb

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Believe me! The secret of reaping....
Believe me! The secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment from life is to live dangerously!-- Friedrich Nietzsche

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I have enjoyed greatly the second....
I have enjoyed greatly the second blooming that comes when you finish the life of the emotions and of personal relations; and suddenly find - at the age of fifty, say - that a whole new life has opened before you, filled with things you can think about, study, or read about...It is as if a fresh sap of ideas and thoughts was rising in you.-- Agatha Christie

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Reader, suppose you were an idiot.....
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.-- Mark Twain

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I am not concerned that you....
I am not concerned that you have fallen; I am concerned that you arise.-- Abraham Lincoln

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Manners are especially the need of....
Manners are especially the need of the plain. The pretty can get away with anything.-- Evelyn Waugh

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  HABEAS CORPUS. A writ by which....
HABEAS CORPUS. A writ by which a man may be taken out of jail when confined for the wrong crime.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The hatred you're carrying is a....
The hatred you're carrying is a live coal in your heart - far more damaging to yourself than to them.-- Lawana Blackwell

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I'm not concerned that you have....
I'm not concerned that you have fallen,-- Abraham_Lincoln/"

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Every woman knows all about everything.--....
Every woman knows all about everything.-- Rudyard Kipling

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  However often you may have done....
However often you may have done them a favour, if you once refuse they forget everything except your refusal.-- Pliny the Younger

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Writers aren't exactly people...they're a whole....
Writers aren't exactly people...they're a whole lot of people trying to be one person.-- F. Scott Fitzgerald

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  He will live ill who does....
He will live ill who does not know how to die well.-- Seneca

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Every moment is a golden one....
Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.-- Henry Miller

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Life is what happens to you....
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.-- John Lennon

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  We'd be fools not to ride....
We'd be fools not to ride this strange torpedo to the end.-- Hunter S. Thompson

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Man perfected by society is the....
Man perfected by society is the best of all animals; he is the most terrible of all when he lives without law, and without justice.-- Aristotle

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Opinion is that exercise of the....
Opinion is that exercise of the human will which helps us to make a decision without information.-- John Erskine

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Nothing can be done at once....
Nothing can be done at once hastily and prudently.-- Publilius Syrus

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The affair between Margot Asquith and....
The affair between Margot Asquith and Margot Asquith will live as one of the prettiest love stories in all literature.-- Dorothy Parker

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Sir, I agree to this Constitution,....
Sir, I agree to this Constitution, with all its Faults, if they are such; because I think a General Government necessary for us, and there is no Form of Government but what may be a Blessing to the People if well administered; and I believe farther that this is likely to be well administered for a Course of Years, and can only end in Despotism as other Forms have done before it, when the People shall become so corrupted as to need Despotic Government, being incapable of any other.-- Benjamin Franklin

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I've never quite believed that one....
I've never quite believed that one chance is all I get.-- Anne Tyler

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Misquotation is, in fact, the pride....
Misquotation is, in fact, the pride and privilege of the learned. A widely- read man never quotes accurately, for the rather obvious reason that he has read too widely.-- Hesketh Pearson

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It is not always the same....
It is not always the same thing to be a good man and a good citizen.-- Aristotle

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Books must follow sciences, and not....
Books must follow sciences, and not sciences books.-- Sir Francis Bacon

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  A good many young writers make....
A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor.-- Ring Lardner

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  By listening to his language of....
By listening to his language of his locality the poet begins to learn his craft. It is his function to lift, by use of imagination and the language he hears, the material conditions and appearances of his environment to the sphere of the intelligence where they will have new currency.-- William Carlos Williams

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  You will always find [hatred] strongest....
You will always find [hatred] strongest and most violent where there is the lowest degree of culture.-- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Man is tormented by no greater....
Man is tormented by no greater anxiety than to find someone quickly to whom he can hand over that great gift of freedom with which the ill-fated creature is born.-- Fyodor Dostoevsky

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Democracies have ever been spectacles of....
Democracies have ever been spectacles of turbulence and contention; have ever been found incompatible with personal security, or the rights of property; have in general been as short in their lives as they are violent in their deaths.-- James Madison

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It is as hard to see....
It is as hard to see one's self as to look backwards without turning around.-- Henry David Thoreau

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  History is philosophy teaching by example,....
History is philosophy teaching by example, and also warning; its two eyes are geography and chronology.-- James A. Garfield

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Clearly, a civilization that feels guilty....
Clearly, a civilization that feels guilty for everything it is and does will lack the energy and conviction to defend itself.-- Jean Francois Revel

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I can believe anything, provided that....
I can believe anything, provided that it is quite incredible.-- Oscar Wilde

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Chastity is the greatest form of....
Chastity is the greatest form of perversion.-- Oscar Wilde

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The greatness comes not when things....
The greatness comes not when things go always good for you. But the greatness comes when you're really tested, when you take some knocks, some disappointments, when sadness comes. Because only if you've been in the deepest valley can you ever know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain.-- Richard M. Nixon

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  A fair exterior is a silent....
A fair exterior is a silent recommendation.-- Publilius Syrus

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Make visible what, without you, might....
Make visible what, without you, might perhaps never have been seen.-- Robert Bresson

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I wanted to be bored to....
I wanted to be bored to death, as good a way to go as any.-- Peter De Vries

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Get all the fools on your....
Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything.-- Frank Dane

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  A spoken word is not a....
A spoken word is not a sparrow. Once it flies out, you can't catch it.-- Russian Proverb

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Nothing amuses me more than the....
Nothing amuses me more than the easy manner with which everybody settles the abundance of those who have a great deal less than themselves.-- Jane Austen

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  In charity there is no excess.--....
In charity there is no excess.-- Sir Francis Bacon

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Do not be too moral. You....
Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much life. Aim above morality. Be not simply good; be good for something.-- Henry David Thoreau

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Over the past ten years, for....
Over the past ten years, for the first time, intelligence had become socially correct for girls.-- Tom Wolfe

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The best way to get approval....
The best way to get approval is not to need it.-- Hugh Macleod

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  A sex symbol becomes a thing.....
A sex symbol becomes a thing. I hate being a thing.-- Marilyn Monroe

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It is long since I have....
It is long since I have learned to hold popular opinion of no value.-- Alexander Hamilton

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Remember that nobody will ever get....
Remember that nobody will ever get ahead of you as long as he is kicking you in the seat of the pants.-- Walter Winchell

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Dealing with network executives is like....
Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks.-- Eric Sevareid

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Great wisdom is generous; petty wisdom....
Great wisdom is generous; petty wisdom is contentious. Great speech is impassioned, small speech cantankerous.-- Chuang-tzu

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  If my religion is true, it....
If my religion is true, it will stand up to all my questioning; there is no need to fear.-- Madeleine L'Engle

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Some people create with words or....
Some people create with words or with music or with a brush and paints. I like to make something beautiful when I run. I like to make people stop and say, 'I've never seen anyone run like that before.' It's more than just a race, it's a style. It's doing something better than anyone else. It's being creative.-- Steve Prefontaine

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Every time we remember to say....
Every time we remember to say "thank you," we experience nothing less than heaven on earth.-- Sarah Ban Breathnach

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  GUNPOWDER, n. An agency employed by....
GUNPOWDER, n. An agency employed by civilized nations for the settlement of disputes which might become troublesome if left unadjusted. By most writers the invention of gunpowder is ascribed to the Chinese, but not upon very convincing evidence. Milton says it was invented by the devil to dispel angels with, and this opinion seems to derive some support from the scarcity of angels. Moreover, it has the hearty concurrence of the Hon. James Wilson, Secretary of Agriculture.-- Ambrose_Bierce/"

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I will have nought to do....
I will have nought to do with a man who can blow hot and cold with the same breath.-- Aesop

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Let us be grateful to people....
Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.-- Marcel Proust

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  People everywhere have the same needs....
People everywhere have the same needs and values. They need a place to live and a job. Beyond that, they may need to sell stuff or get a mate.-- Craig Newmark

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  There is nothing so absurd but....
There is nothing so absurd but some philosopher has said it.-- Cicero

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  If a man who cannot count....
If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he entitled to happiness?-- Unknown (can you tell me?)

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Insane people are always sure that....
Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy.-- Nora Ephron

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Nobody ever died of laughter.-- Max....
Nobody ever died of laughter.-- Max Beerbohm

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Time eases all things.-- Sophocles ....
Time eases all things.-- Sophocles

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does....
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?-- Harry Shearer

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It had only one fault. It....
It had only one fault. It was kind of lousy.-- James Thurber

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  While the fates permit, live happily;....
While the fates permit, live happily; life speeds on with hurried step, and with winged days the wheel of the headlong year is turned.-- Seneca

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The only devils in this world....
The only devils in this world are those running around in our own hearts, and that is where all our battles should be fought.-- Mahatma Gandhi

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Aviation in itself is not inherently....
Aviation in itself is not inherently dangerous. But to an even greater degree than the sea, it is terribly unforgiving of carelessness, incapacity, or neglect.-- Anonymous

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Sooner or later we all quote....
Sooner or later we all quote our mothers.-- Bern Williams

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  True glory consists in doing what....
True glory consists in doing what deserves to be written; in writing what deserves to be read; and in so living as to make the world happier for our living in it.-- Pliny The Elder

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Never give up and never face....
Never give up and never face the facts.-- Ruth Gordon

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  An incompetent attorney can delay a....
An incompetent attorney can delay a trial for months or years. A competent attorney can delay one even longer.-- Evelle J. Younger

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  PRESENT, n. That part of eternity....
PRESENT, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The superfluous is very necessary.-- Voltaire....
The superfluous is very necessary.-- Voltaire

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Think of how many religions attempt....
Think of how many religions attempt to validate themselves with prophecy. Think of how many people rely on these prophecies, however vague, however unfulfilled, to support or prop up their beliefs. Yet has there ever been a religion with the prophetic accuracy and reliability of science?-- Carl Sagan

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  A good idea will keep you....
A good idea will keep you awake during the morning, but a great idea will keep you awake during the night.-- Marilyn Vos Savant

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Sitting at the table doesn't make....
Sitting at the table doesn't make you a diner, unless you eat some of what's on that plate. Being here in America doesn't make you an American. Being born here in America doesn't make you an American.-- Malcolm X

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The positive thinker sees the invisible,....
The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.-- Anonymous

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I know in my heart that....
I know in my heart that man is good.--

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The freedom of all is essential....
The freedom of all is essential to my freedom.-- Mikhail Bakunin

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Live dangerously and you live right.--....
Live dangerously and you live right.-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Truth, like surgery, may hurt, but....
Truth, like surgery, may hurt, but it cures.-- Han Suyin

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I have gotten a lot more....
I have gotten a lot more attention than...other women that I find incredibly beautiful. And this has happened to me ever since I was a girl, when I was flat, had no teeth, was skinny and small as I could be. I always got more attention than anyone else. If I hadn't, I would have made sure I did.-- Salma Hayek

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Nurture your mind with great thoughts;....
Nurture your mind with great thoughts; to believe in the heroic makes heroes.-- Benjamin Disraeli

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  The great use of life is....
The great use of life is to spend it for something that outlasts it.-- William James

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.

Google Video of the Day

Courtesy of Video.KiTT.NeT


Description
A collection of the best and most witty quotations in the world. I hope you enjoy my collection. Please bookmark this page and check back soon as it is updated every other hour! Subscribe for more fun!

Brought to You in League With...

UKRifter Virtual Reality
UKRifter Virtual Reality News from the world of Oculus,
HTC Vive, Razer HDK & Playstation VR. Subscribe today!



Previous Posts
[The television is] an invention that....
[The television is] an invention that....
[The superior man] acts before he....
Would that the Roman people had....
[He was] a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious....
[Optimism is] the obstinacy of maintaining....
Neither a borrower nor a lender....
[When asked what was the proper....
Separate together in a bunch. [And....
The ultimate good desired is better....

Archives
October 2006 / November 2006 / December 2006 / January 2007 / February 2007 / March 2007 / April 2007 / May 2007 / June 2007 / July 2007 / August 2007 / September 2007 / October 2007 / November 2007 / December 2007 / January 2008 / February 2008 / March 2008 / April 2008 / May 2008 / June 2008 / November 2008 / December 2008 / January 2009 / February 2009 / March 2009 / April 2009 / May 2009 / June 2009 / July 2009 / August 2009 / September 2009 / October 2009 / November 2009 / December 2009 / January 2010 / February 2010 / March 2010 / April 2010 / May 2010 / June 2010 / July 2010 / August 2010 / September 2010 / October 2010 / November 2010 / December 2010 / January 2011 / February 2011 / March 2011 / April 2011 / May 2011 / June 2011 / July 2011 / August 2011 / September 2011 / October 2011 / November 2011 / December 2011 / January 2012 / February 2012 / March 2012 / April 2012 / May 2012 / June 2012 / July 2012 / August 2012 / September 2012 / October 2012 / November 2012 / December 2012 /

Twitter Facebook
MySpace Digg
Hit a button to share with your friends

Powered by Blogger