Famous Quotes from Inspirational People

  The great thing about a computer....
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.-- Bill Gates

 
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  It is only with the heart....
It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

 
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  Every crowd has a silver lining.--....
Every crowd has a silver lining.-- Phineas Taylor Barnum

 
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  PHILISTINE, n. One whose mind is....
PHILISTINE, n. One whose mind is the creature of its environment, following the fashion in thought, feeling and sentiment. He is sometimes learned, frequently prosperous, commonly clean and always solemn.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
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  REALISM, n. The art of depicting....
REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
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  We require from buildings two kinds....
We require from buildings two kinds of goodness: first, the doing their practical duty well: then that they be graceful and pleasing in doing it.-- John Ruskin

 
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  That's the thing about Mother Nature,....
That's the thing about Mother Nature, she really doesn't care what economic bracket you're in.-- Whoopi Goldberg

 
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  If you ever get a chance....
If you ever get a chance to buy a baseball team, do so. It's very fun.-- Ted Turner

 
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  Practical politics consists in ignoring facts.--....
Practical politics consists in ignoring facts.-- Henry Adams

 
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  Photographers do this for a living,....
Photographers do this for a living, every single day -- they point their lenses toward every single corner of our world and somehow make the mundane mesmerizing through their artistic eye. It's all a matter of being aware of your surroundings and realizing that there are some really amazing and interesting things to look at, even if it may just be something so simple as a wall being covered up by paint.-- Ward Jenkins

 
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  May your service of love a....
May your service of love a beautiful thing; want nothing else, fear nothing else and let love be free to become what love truly is.-- Hadewijch of Antwerp

 
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  And did you think that such....
And did you think that such a guest--

 
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  Let us reform our schools, and....
Let us reform our schools, and we shall find little reform needed in our prisons.-- John Ruskin

 
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  Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of....
Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.-- Kin Hubbard

 
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  Overwhelming nuclear strength cannot stop a....
Overwhelming nuclear strength cannot stop a guerrilla war.-- John F. Kennedy

 
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  When the eagles are silent, the....
When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.-- Sir Winston Churchill

 
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  Nature is trying very hard to....
Nature is trying very hard to make us succeed, but nature does not depend on us. We are not the only experiment.-- R. Buckminster Fuller

 
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  The universal and lasting establishment of....
The universal and lasting establishment of peace constitutes not merely a part, but the whole final purpose and end of the science of right as viewed within the limits of reason.-- Immanuel Kant

 
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  Other people have a nationality. The....
Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis.-- Brendan Behan

 
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  Those only are happy who have....
Those only are happy who have their minds fixed on some object other than their own happiness: on the happiness of others, on the improvement of mankind, even on some art or pursuit followed not as a means, but as itself an ideal end. Aiming at something else, they find happiness by the way.-- John Stuart Mill

 
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  Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It....
Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.-- Voltaire

 
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  Life is like a piano... what....
Life is like a piano... what you get out of it depends on how you play it.-- Unknown

 
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  My doctor told me to stop....
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.-- Orson Welles

 
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  A judge is a law student....
A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.-- H. L. Mencken

 
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  There are two things in particular....
There are two things in particular that it [the computer industry] failed to foresee: one was the coming of the Internet(...); the other was the fact that the century would end.-- Douglas Adams

 
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  Self-development is a higher duty than....
Self-development is a higher duty than self-sacrifice.-- Elizabeth Cady Stanton

 
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  Formerly, when religion was strong and....
Formerly, when religion was strong and science weak, men mistook magic for medicine; now, when science is strong and religion weak, men mistake medicine for magic.-- Thomas Szasz

 
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  How can you come to know....
How can you come to know yourself? Never by thinking, always by doing. Try to do your duty, and you'll know right away what you amount to.-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 
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  Wonder is the beginning of wisdom.--....
Wonder is the beginning of wisdom.-- Greek Proverb

 
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  Sweet is war to those who....
Sweet is war to those who know it not.-- Pindar

 
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  Knowing what you can not do....
Knowing what you can not do is more important than knowing what you can do. In fact, that's good taste.-- Lucille Ball

 
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  CORSAIR, n. A politician of the....
CORSAIR, n. A politician of the seas.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
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  It takes courage to grow up....
It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.-- e e cummings

 
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  How to Raise your I.Q. by....
How to Raise your I.Q. by Eating Gifted Children-- Lewis B. Frumkes

 
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  Misogynist: A man who hates women....
Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.-- H. L. Mencken

 
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  Everything has beauty, but not everyone....
Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.-- Confucius

 
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  I live in the Managerial Age,....
I live in the Managerial Age, in a world of "Admin." The greatest evil is not now done in those sordid "dens of crime" that Dickens loved to paint. It is not done even in concentration camps and labour camps. In those we see its final result. But it is conceived and ordered (moved, seconded, carried, and minuted) in clean, carpeted, warmed and well-lighted offices, by quiet men with white collars and cut fingernails and smooth-shaven cheeks who do not need to raise their voices. Hence, naturally enough, my symbol for Hell is something like the bureaucracy of a police state or the office of a thoroughly nasty business concern.-- C. S. Lewis

 
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  The aging process has you firmly....
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.-- Doug Larson

 
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  One of the things that keeps....
One of the things that keeps you from dropping them in the nearest volcano is that you had to work too hard to get them. You had to cry, you had to scream, you had to sweat, you had to cuss out health care officials, and when that's all over with, you'll be willing to put up with a lot more from your kids.-- Barbara Hall

 
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  Cheese, wine, and a friend must....
Cheese, wine, and a friend must be old to be good. -- Cuban Proverb

 
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  AUCTIONEER, n. The man who proclaims....
AUCTIONEER, n. The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
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  When an idea is wanting, a....
When an idea is wanting, a word can always be found to take its place.-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 
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  The only comfort comes in thinking....
The only comfort comes in thinking about how nice it was to know them, and how nice it was to brush against goodness for a season.-- Real Live Preacher

 
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  To get a name can happen....
To get a name can happen but to few; it is one of the few things that cannot be brought. It is the free gift of mankind, which must be deserved before it will be granted, and is at last unwillingly bestowed.-- Samuel Johnson

 
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  Evil is always possible. Goodness is....
Evil is always possible. Goodness is a difficulty.-- Anne Rice

 
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  The average person thinks he isn't.--....
The average person thinks he isn't.-- Father Larry Lorenzoni

 
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  It is no use saying, "We....
It is no use saying, "We are doing our best." You have got to succeed in doing what is necessary.-- Sir Winston Churchill

 
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  No man is good enough to....
No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent.-- Abraham Lincoln

 
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  There is no free lunch.-- Milton....
There is no free lunch.-- Milton Friedman

 
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  If one speaks or acts with....
If one speaks or acts with a cruel mind, misery follows, as the cart follows the horse... If one speaks or acts with a pure mind, happiness follows, as a shadow follows its source.-- the Dhammapada

 
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  Man is an animal which, alone....
Man is an animal which, alone among the animals, refuses to be satisfied by the fulfilment of animal desires.-- Alexander Graham Bell

 
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  The good people sleep much better....
The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more.-- Woody Allen

 
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  Physical deformity, calls forth our charity.....
Physical deformity, calls forth our charity. But the infinite misfortune of moral deformity calls forth nothing but hatred and vengeance.-- Clarence Darrow

 
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  Chase after the truth like all....
Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its coat-tails.-- Clarence Darrow

 
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  Americans cannot realize how many chances....
Americans cannot realize how many chances for mental improvement they lose by their inveterate habit of keeping six conversations when there are twelve in the room.-- Ernest Dimnet

 
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  By trying we can easily learn....
By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.-- Mark Twain

 
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  Strike the tent.-- Robert E. Lee....
Strike the tent.-- Robert E. Lee

 
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  Remembering without ceasing your work of....
Remembering without ceasing your work of faith, and labor of love.-- Bible

 
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  I have known sorrow and learned....
I have known sorrow and learned to aid the wretched.-- Virgil

 
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  Honest disagreement is often a good....
Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.-- Mahatma Gandhi

 
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  The only thing good about it....
The only thing good about it is you're not dead.-- Lillian Hellman

 
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  We need anything politically important rationed....
We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.-- Dennis Miller

 
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  Politicians are interested in people. Not....
Politicians are interested in people. Not that this is a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs.-- P. J. O'Rourke

 
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  You become responsible forever, for what....
You become responsible forever, for what you have tamed.-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

 
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  I have a problem about being....
I have a problem about being nearly sixty: I keep waking up in the morning and thinking I'm thirty-one.-- Elizabeth Janeway

 
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  A committee is a group that....
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.-- Milton Berle

 
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  History is a vision of God’s....
History is a vision of God's creation on the move.-- Arnold Toynbee

 
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  I began to have an idea....
I began to have an idea of my life, not as the slow shaping of achievement to fit my preconceived purposes, but as the gradual discovery and growth of a purpose which I did not know.-- Joanna Field

 
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  There's always somebody who is paid....
There's always somebody who is paid too much, and taxed too little - and it's always somebody else.-- Cullen Hightower

 
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  I do not mind lying, but....
I do not mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy.-- Samuel Butler

 
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  Love yourself first and everything else....
Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.-- Lucille Ball

 
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  What did my hands do before....
What did my hands do before they held you?-- Sylvia Plath

 
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  Deliberate with caution, but act with....
Deliberate with caution, but act with decision; and yield with graciousness, or oppose with firmness.-- Charles Caleb Colton

 
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  We must dare to think about....
We must dare to think about "unthinkable things" because when things become "unthinkable" thinking stops and action becomes mindless.-- J. William Fulbright

 
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  It does not prove a thing....
It does not prove a thing to be right because the majority say it is so.-- Friedrich von Schiller

 
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  When men take up arms to....
When men take up arms to set other men free, there is something sacred and holy in the warfare.-- Woodrow Wilson

 
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  In adversity remember to keep an....
In adversity remember to keep an even mind.-- Horace

 
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  Good men must be affectionate men.--....
Good men must be affectionate men.-- Samuel Richardson

 
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  I do not know what I....
I do not know what I may appear to the world; but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the sea shore and diverting himself and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell that ordinary while the greater ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.-- Isaac Newton

 
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  People are wrong when they say....
People are wrong when they say that the opera isn't what it used to be. It is what it used to be. That's what's wrong with it.-- Noel Coward

 
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  .... You ask, What is our....
.... You ask, What is our policy? I will say; "It is to wage war, by sea, land and air, with all our might and with all the strength that God can give us: to wage war against a monstrous tyranny, never surpassed in the dark lamentable catalogue of human crime. That is our policy." You ask, What is our aim? I can answer with one word: Victory - victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival.-- Sir Winston Churchill

 
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  It takes a wonderful brain and....
It takes a wonderful brain and exquisite senses to produce a few stupid ideas.-- George Santayana

 
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  There is a wide difference between....
There is a wide difference between speaking to deceive, and being silent to be impenetrable.-- Voltaire

 
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  Time you enjoy wasting is not....
Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted.-- John Lennon

 
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  Learn to obey before you command.--....
Learn to obey before you command.-- Solon

 
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  I have enjoyed greatly the second....
I have enjoyed greatly the second blooming... suddenly you find - at the age of 50, say - that a whole new life has opened before you.-- Agatha Christie

 
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  I take as metaphysical poetry that....
I take as metaphysical poetry that in which what is ordinarily apprehensible only by thought is brought within the grasp of feeling, or that in which what is ordinarily only felt is transformed into thought without ceasing to be feeling.-- T. S. Eliot

 
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  If your sexual fantasies were truly....
If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.-- Fran Lebowitz

 
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  Absence, with all its pains, is,....
Absence, with all its pains, is, by this charming moment, wiped away.-- James Thomson

 
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  Only through art can we get....
Only through art can we get outside of ourselves and know another's view of the universe. -- Marcel Proust

 
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  I'm not a vegetarian because I....
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.-- A. Whitney Brown

 
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  The American people would not want....
The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make.-- Dan Quayle

 
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  When cheese gets it's picture taken,....
When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?-- George Carlin

 
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  Stop worrying about the potholes in....
Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and celebrate the journey!-- Unknown (can you tell me?)

 
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  The time to relax is --....
The time to relax is -- when you don't have time for it.-- Sidney J. Harris

 
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  Politics is just like show business.....
Politics is just like show business. You have a hell of an opening, coast for a while, and then have a hell of a close.-- Ronald Reagan

 
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  Calvin Coolidge was the greatest man....
Calvin Coolidge was the greatest man who ever came out of Plymouth Corner, Vermont.-- Clarence Darrow

 
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  Sound character provides the power with....
Sound character provides the power with which a person may ride the emergencies of life instead of being overwhelmed by them. Failure is... the highway to success.-- Og Mandino

 
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  The art of life lies in....
The art of life lies in a constant readjustment to our surroundings.-- Okakura Kakuzo

 
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  I feel that you are justified....
I feel that you are justified in looking into the future with true assurance, because you have a mode of living in which we find the joy of life and the joy of work harmoniously combined. Added to this is the spirit of ambition which pervades your very being, and seems to make the day's work like a happy child at play.-- Albert Einstein

 
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  Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.--....
Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.-- Colin Powell

 
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  God made the Idiot for practice,....
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board-- Mark Twain

 
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  Man is the only animal for....
Man is the only animal for whom his own existence is a problem which he has to solve.-- Erich Fromm

 
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  The true teacher defends his pupils....
The true teacher defends his pupils against his own personal influence.-- Amos Bronson Alcott

 
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  Freedom and indedendence form my character.--....
Freedom and indedendence form my character.-- Mustafa Kemal Ataturk

 
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  The older I get, the greater....
The older I get, the greater power I seem to have to help the world; I am like a snowball - the further I am rolled, the more I gain.-- Susan B. Anthony

 
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  Time cools, time clarifies; no mood....
Time cools, time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours.-- Mark Twain

 
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  Evil is unspectacular and always human,....
Evil is unspectacular and always human, and shores our bed and eats at our own table.-- Herman Melville

 
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  Under the influence of art the....
Under the influence of art the walls expand, the roof rises, and it becomes a temple.-- Robert Ingersoll

 
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  Here is the test to find....
Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't.-- Richard Bach

 
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  I can hire one half of....
I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half.-- Jay Gould

 
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  I don't think it's the nature....
I don't think it's the nature of any man to be monogamous. Men are propelled by genetically ordained impulses over which they have no control to distribute thair seed.-- Marlon Brando

 
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  ACADEMY, n. [from ACADEME] A modern....
ACADEMY, n. [from ACADEME] A modern school where football is taught.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
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  The Hobbits are just rustic English....
The Hobbits are just rustic English people, made small in size because it reflects the generally small reach of their imagination.-- J. R. R. Tolkien

 
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  A marriage is always made up....
A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.-- Terry Pratchett

 
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  Optimism, n. The doctrine or belief....
Optimism, n. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
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  Formulate and stamp indelibly on your....
Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind a mental picture of yourself as succeeding. Hold this picture tenaciously. Never permit it to fade. Your mind will seek to develop the picture...Do not build up obstacles in your imagination.-- Norman Vincent Peale

 
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  Thanksgiving is a typically American holiday...The....
Thanksgiving is a typically American holiday...The lavish meal is a symbol of the fact that abundant consumption is the result and reward of production.-- Ayn Rand

 
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  I dream, therefore I become.-- Cheryl....
I dream, therefore I become.-- Cheryl Renée Grossman

 
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  Against logic there is no armor....
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.-- Laurence J. Peter

 
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  There are people whom one loves....
There are people whom one loves immediately and forever. Even to know they are alive in the world with one is quite enough.-- Nancy Spain

 
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  If you pick up a starving....
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.-- Mark Twain

 
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  I believe that any man's life....
I believe that any man's life will be filled with constant and unexpected encouragement, if he makes up his mind to do his level best each day, and as nearly as possible reaching the high water mark of pure and useful living.-- Booker T. Washington

 
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  Any excuse will serve a tyrant.--....
Any excuse will serve a tyrant.-- Aesop

 
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  By mid-November I always like to....
By mid-November I always like to have an extra 15 pounds on me.-- Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider

 
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  The reason people blame things on....
The reason people blame things on previous generations is that there's only one other choice.-- Doug Larson

 
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  See, in my line of work....
See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda.-- George W. Bush

 
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  Diversity is the one true thing....
Diversity is the one true thing we all have in common. Celebrate it every day.-- Anonymous

 
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  Loneliness is a strange gift.-- E.....
Loneliness is a strange gift.-- E. B. White

 
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  If one is forever cautious, can....
If one is forever cautious, can one remain a human being? -- Alexander Solzhenitsyn

 
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  Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind....
Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.-- John Lehman

 
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  Any community's arm of force -....
Any community's arm of force - military, police, security - needs people in it who can do necessary evil, and yet not be made evil by it. To do only the necessary and no more. To constantly question the assumptions, to stop the slide into atrocity.-- Lois McMaster Bujold

 
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  Never do today what you can....
Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow. Delay may give clearer light as to what is best to be done.-- Aaron Burr

 
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  Ideas are far more powerful than....
Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?-- Joseph Stalin

 
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  It's so much easier to suggest....
It's so much easier to suggest solutions when you don't know too much about the problem.-- Malcolm Forbes

 
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  I think all great innovations are....
I think all great innovations are built on rejections.-- Louise Nevelson

 
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  The only purpose for which power....
The only purpose for which power can be rightfully exercised over any member of a civilized community, against his will, is to prevent harm to others. His own good, either physical or moral, is not sufficient warrant.-- John Stuart Mill

 
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  A harvest of peace is produced....
A harvest of peace is produced from a seed of contentment. -- American Proverb

 
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  Better fare hard with good men....
Better fare hard with good men than feast it with bad. -- Thomas Paine

 
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  It is not these well-fed long-haired....
It is not these well-fed long-haired men that I fear, but the pale and the hungry-looking.-- Julius Caesar

 
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  What men call good fellowship is....
What men call good fellowship is commonly but the virtue of pigs in a litter which lie close together to keep each other warm.-- Henry David Thoreau

 
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  No one ever told me grief....
No one ever told me grief felt so much like fear.-- C. S. Lewis

 
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  The Preacher, the Politicain, the Teacher,--....
The Preacher, the Politicain, the Teacher,--

 
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  The ingredients of health and long....
The ingredients of health and long life, are great temperance, open air, easy labor, and little care.-- Sir Philip Sidney

 
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  Aging is not 'lost youth' but....
Aging is not 'lost youth' but a new stage of opportunity and strength.-- Betty Friedan

 
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  RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions....
RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
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  Now we sit through Shakespeare in....
Now we sit through Shakespeare in order to recognize the quotations.-- Orson Welles

 
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  GNOME, n. In North-European mythology, a....
GNOME, n. In North-European mythology, a dwarfish imp inhabiting the interior parts of the earth and having special custody of mineral treasures. Bjorsen, who died in 1765, says gnomes were common enough in the southern parts of Sweden in his boyhood, and he frequently saw them scampering on the hills in the evening twilight. Ludwig Binkerhoof saw three as recently as 1792, in the Black Forest, and Sneddeker avers that in 1803 they drove a party of miners out of a Silesian mine. Basing our computations upon data supplied by these statements, we find that the gnomes were probably extinct as early as 1764.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
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  If it can be dreamed, it....
If it can be dreamed, it can be done.-- Walt Disney

 
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  Better to light a candle than....
Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.-- Chinese Proverb

 
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  Nothing is really work unless you....
Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.-- James M. Barrie

 
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  I think that freshness and that....
I think that freshness and that innocence is something that is missing from a lot of female singers. I'm certainly not denying that I'm young, but I'm not fluff.-- Jessica Simpson

 
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  So they [the Government] go on....
So they [the Government] go on in strange paradox, decided only to be undecided, resolved to be irresolute, adamant for drift, solid for fluidity, all-powerful to be impotent.-- Sir Winston Churchill

 
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  You cannot do wrong without suffering....
You cannot do wrong without suffering wrong.-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

 
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  And thus I clothe my naked....
And thus I clothe my naked villainy--

 
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  Peace has never come from dropping....
Peace has never come from dropping bombs. Real peace comes from enlightenment and educating people to behave more in a divine manner.-- Carlos Santana

 
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  CROSS, n. An ancient religious symbol....
CROSS, n. An ancient religious symbol erroneously supposed to owe its significance to the most solemn event in the history of Christianity, but really antedating it by thousands of years. By many it has been believed to be identical with the _crux ansata_ of the ancient phallic worship, but it has been traced even beyond all that we know of that, to the rites of primitive peoples. We have to-day the White Cross as a symbol of chastity, and the Red Cross as a badge of benevolent neutrality in war. Having in mind the former, the reverend Father Gassalasca Jape smites the lyre to the effect following:-- Is, dears, when he declines to flee

 
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  We Americans live in a nation....
We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it.-- Dave Barry

 
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  There is no right to strike....
There is no right to strike against the public safety by anybody, anywhere, any time.-- Calvin Coolidge

 
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  Rather than love, than money, than....
Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth. I sat at a table where were rich food and wine in abundance, and obsequious attendance, but sincerity and truth were not; and I went away hungry from the inhospitable board.-- Henry David Thoreau

 
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  No.-- Amy Carter ....
No.-- Amy Carter

 
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  Anyone whose goal is 'something higher'....
Anyone whose goal is 'something higher' must expect someday to suffer vertigo. What is vertigo? Fear of falling? No, Vertigo is something other than fear of falling. It is the voice of the emptiness below us which tempts and lures us, it is the desire to fall, against which, terrified, we defend ourselves.-- Milan Kundera

 
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  HASH, x. There is no definition....
HASH, x. There is no definition for this word -- nobody knows what hash is.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
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  Men of sense often learn from....
Men of sense often learn from their enemies. It is from their foes, not their friends, that cities learn the lesson of building high walls and ships of war . . .-- Aristophanes

 
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  The real power behind whatever success....
The real power behind whatever success I have now was something I found within myself - something that's in all of us, I think, a little piece of God just waiting to be discovered.-- Tina Turner

 
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  For centuries, theologians have been explaining....
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.-- H. L. Mencken

 
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  In studying the history of the....
In studying the history of the human mind one is impressed again and again by the fact that the growth of the mind is the widening of the range of consciousness, and that each step forward has been a most painful and laborious achievement. One could almost say that nothing is more hateful to man than to give up even a particle of his unconsciousness. Ask those who have tried to introduce a new idea!-- Carl Jung

 
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  Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because....
Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say that there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.-- Frank Zappa

 
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  Cycology -- The science of propelling....
Cycology -- The science of propelling one's self through the environment to enhance well-being.-- Unknown

 
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  Where love rules, there is no....
Where love rules, there is no will to power, and where power predominates, love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other.-- Carl Jung

 
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  Life is just a bowl of....
Life is just a bowl of pits.-- Rodney Dangerfield

 
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  The key to immortality is first....
The key to immortality is first to live a life worth remembering.-- Bruce Lee

 
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  Truly, to tell lies is not....
Truly, to tell lies is not honorable;--

 
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  To succeed in the world it....
To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid; you must also be well-mannered.-- Voltaire

 
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  Truth is a pathless land.-- Krishnamurti....
Truth is a pathless land.-- Krishnamurti

 
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  If you want to be free,....
If you want to be free, there is but one way; it is to guarantee an equally full measure of liberty to all your neighbors. There is no other.-- Carl Schurz

 
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  I wanted to change the world.....
I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself.-- Aldous Huxley

 
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  You can’t love a crowd the....
You can't love a crowd the same way you can love a person.--

 
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  Honor does not have to be....
Honor does not have to be defended.-- Robert J. Sawyer

 
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  Peace cannot be kept by force.....
Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.-- Albert Einstein

 
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  If you want to make an....
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.-- Carl Sagan

 
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  Anybody who believes that the way....
Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography.-- Robert Byrne

 
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  False words are not only evil....
False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil.-- Plato

 
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  Isn't everyone a part of everyone....
Isn't everyone a part of everyone else?-- Budd Schulberg

 
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  BOUNDARY, n. In political geography, an....
BOUNDARY, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of the other.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
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  It is something to be able....
It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts.-- Henry David Thoreau

 
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  It is the new and different....
It is the new and different that is always most vulnerable to market research-- Malcolm Gladwell

 
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  If we had no faults of....
If we had no faults of our own, we would not take so much pleasure in noticing those of others.-- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

 
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  Your manuscript is both good and....
Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original and the part that is original is not good.-- Samuel Johnson

 
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  Nothing worth doing is completed in....
Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime; therefore, we must be saved by hope.-- Reinhold Niebuhr

 
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  The first step towards amendment is....
The first step towards amendment is the recognition of error.-- Seneca

 
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  Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes....
Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.-- Bill Vaughan

 
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  When writing a novel that's pretty....
When writing a novel that's pretty much entirely what life turns into: "House burned down. Car stolen. Cat exploded. Did 1500 easy words, so all in all it was a pretty good day."-- Neil Gaiman

 
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  Learn to labour and to wait.--....
Learn to labour and to wait.-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 
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  Feeling gratitude and not expressing it....
Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.-- William Arthur Ward

 
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  My Father taught me how to....
My Father taught me how to be a man – and not by instilling in me a sense of machismo or an agenda of dominance. He taught me that a real man doesn't take, he gives; he doesn't use force, he uses logic; doesn't play the role of trouble-maker, but rather, trouble-shooter; and most importantly, a real man is defined by what's in his heart, not his pants.-- Kevin Smith

 
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  Marriage is really tough because you....
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings... and lawyers.-- Richard Pryor

 
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  Well, spring sprang. We've had our....
Well, spring sprang. We've had our state of grace and our little gift of sanctioned madness, courtesy of Mother Nature. Thanks, Gaia. Much obliged. I guess it's time to get back to that daily routine of living we like to call normal.-- David Assael

 
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  It is a good thing for....
It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations.-- Sir Winston Churchill

 
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  I've read about foreign policy and....
I've read about foreign policy and studied, I now know the number of continents.-- George Wallace

 
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  HALO, n. Properly, a luminous ring....
HALO, n. Properly, a luminous ring encircling an astronomical body, but not infrequently confounded with "aureola," or "nimbus," a somewhat similar phenomenon worn as a head-dress by divinities and saints. The halo is a purely optical illusion, produced by moisture in the air, in the manner of a rainbow; but the aureola is conferred as a sign of superior sanctity, in the same way as a bishop's mitre, or the Pope's tiara. In the painting of the Nativity, by Szedgkin, a pious artist of Pesth, not only do the Virgin and the Child wear the nimbus, but an ass nibbling hay from the sacred manger is similarly decorated and, to his lasting honor be it said, appears to bear his unaccustomed dignity with a truly saintly grace.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
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  Adults are just obsolete children and....
Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them.-- Dr. Seuss

 
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  The way to final freedom is....
The way to final freedom is within thy self.-- The Book of the Golden Precepts

 
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  Who overcomes by force hath overcome....
Who overcomes by force hath overcome but half his foe.-- John Milton

 
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  Why be a man when you....
Why be a man when you can be a success?-- Bertolt Brecht

 
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  I believe in looking reality straight....
I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.-- Garrison Keillor

 
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  Dogs feel very strongly that they....
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.-- Dave Barry

 
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  People who have accomplished work worthwhile....
People who have accomplished work worthwhile have had a very high sense of the way to do things. They have not been content with mediocrity. They have not confined themselves to the beaten tracks; they have never been satisfied to do things just as others so them, but always a little better. They always pushed things that came to their hands a little higher up, this little farther on, that counts in the quality of life's work. It is constant effort to be first-class in everything one attempts that conquers the heights of excellence.-- Orison Swett Marden

 
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  The capacity for passion is both....
The capacity for passion is both cruel and divine.-- George Sand

 
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  You can observe a lot just....
You can observe a lot just by watching.-- Yogi Berra

 
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  Do not let your deeds belie....
Do not let your deeds belie your words, lest when you speak in church someone may say to himself, 'Why do you not practice what you preach?'-- Saint Jerome

 
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  As a well-spent day brings happy....
As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death.-- Leonardo da Vinci

 
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  Chess is a foolish expedient for....
Chess is a foolish expedient for making idle people believe they are doing something very clever when they are only wasting their time.-- George Bernard Shaw

 
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  The world makes up for all....
The world makes up for all its follies and injustices by being damnably sentimental.-- Thomas H. Huxley

 
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  A signature always reveals a man's....
A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.-- Evan Esar

 
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  A closed mind is a good....
A closed mind is a good thing to lose.-- Anonymous

 
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  [Memory is] a man's real possession...In....
[Memory is] a man's real possession...In nothing else is he rich, in nothing else is he poor.-- Alexander Smith

 
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  Isn't it a bit unnerving that....
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"-- George Carlin

 
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  You will find it a very....
You will find it a very good practice always to verify your references sir.-- Martin Routh

 
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  If it is to be, it....
If it is to be, it is up to me.-- Unknown

 
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  With foxes we must play the....
With foxes we must play the fox.-- Dr. Thomas Fuller

 
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  I am not dying, not anymore....
I am not dying, not anymore than any of us are at any moment. We run, hopefully as fast as we can, and then everyone must stop. We can only choose how we handle the race.-- Hugh Elliott

 
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  Words can be like baseball bats....
Words can be like baseball bats when used maliciously.-- Sidney Madwed

 
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  AFFLICTION, n. An acclimatizing process preparing....
AFFLICTION, n. An acclimatizing process preparing the soul for another and bitter world.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
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  I do not take a single....
I do not take a single newspaper, nor read one a month, and I feel myself infinitely the happier for it.-- Thomas Jefferson

 
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  The U.S. Constitution is less than....
The U.S. Constitution is less than a quarter the length of the owner's manual for a 1998 Toyota Camry, and yet it has managed to keep 300 million of the world's most unruly, passionate and energetic people safe, prosperous and free.-- P. J. O'Rourke

 
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  REAR, n. In American military matters,....
REAR, n. In American military matters, that exposed part of the army that is nearest to Congress.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
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  A specification that will not fit....
A specification that will not fit on one page of 8.5x11 inch paper cannot be understood.-- Mark Ardis

 
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  The noun of self becomes a....
The noun of self becomes a verb. This flashpoint of creation in the present moment is where work and play merge.-- Stephen Nachmanovitch

 
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  The only freedom which deserves the....
The only freedom which deserves the name is that of pursuing our own good in our own way, so long as we do not attempt to deprive others of theirs, or impede their efforts to obtain it. Each is the proper guardian of his own health, whether bodily, or mental or spiritual. Mankind are greater gainers by suffering each other to live as seems good to themselves, than by compelling each to live as seems good to the rest.-- John Stuart Mill

 
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  You can take from every experience....
You can take from every experience what it has to offer you. And you cannot be defeated if you just keep taking one breath followed by another.-- Oprah Winfrey

 
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  A mother is not a person....
A mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary.-- Dorothy C. Fisher

 
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  It is thus with most of....
It is thus with most of us; we are what other people say we are. We know ourselves chiefly by hearsay.-- Eric Hoffer

 
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  I merely took the energy it....
I merely took the energy it takes to pout and wrote some blues.-- Duke Ellington

 
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  A casual stroll through the lunatic....
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows us that faith proves nothing.-- Friedrich Nietzsche

 
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  Is life worth living?-- ....
Is life worth living?--

 
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  America had often been discovered before....
America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.-- Oscar Wilde

 
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  Life in common among people who....
Life in common among people who love each other is the ideal of happiness.-- George Sand

 
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  Those who bring sunshine into the....
Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.-- James M. Barrie

 
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  Our progress as a nation can....
Our progress as a nation can be no swifter than our progress in education. The human mind is our fundamental resource.-- John F. Kennedy

 
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  When you are not physically starving,....
When you are not physically starving, you have the luxury to realize psychic and emotional starvation.-- Cherrie Moraga

 
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  I have no doubt that faith....
I have no doubt that faith is only pure when it does not negate the faith of another. I have no doubt that evil can be fought and that indifference is no option. I have no doubt that fanaticism is dangerous. And of all the books in the world on life, I have no doubt that the life of one person weighs more than them all.-- Elie Wiesel

 
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  To lengthen thy life, lessen thy....
To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals.-- Benjamin Franklin

 
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  Make software that you want to....
Make software that you want to use and that you would want to use often. As long as you are making something that you want to use, then your heart will be in it.-- Cabel Sasser

 
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  It is useless to attempt to....
It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into.-- Jonathan Swift

 
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  Live neither in the past nor....
Live neither in the past nor in the future, but let each day's work absorb your entire energies, and satisfy your widest ambition.-- Sir William Osler

 
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  Resentment is anger directed at others--at....
Resentment is anger directed at others--at what they did or did not do.-- Peter McWilliams

 
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  ILLUMINATI, n. A sect of Spanish....
ILLUMINATI, n. A sect of Spanish heretics of the latter part of the sixteenth century; so called because they were light weights -- _cunctationes illuminati_.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
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  I married a German. Every night....
I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.-- Bette Midler

 
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  Working in the garden...gives me a....
Working in the garden...gives me a profound feeling of inner peace.-- Ruth Stout

 
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  There are three rings involved with....
There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.-- Woody Allen

 
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  LUMINARY, n. One who throws light....
LUMINARY, n. One who throws light upon a subject; as an editor by not writing about it.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
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  In all the important preparations of....
In all the important preparations of the mind she was complete: being prepared for matrimony by an hatred of home, restraint, and tranquillity; by the misery of disappointed affection, and contempt of the man she was to marry.-- Jane Austen

 
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  All normal people love meat. If....
All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat!?' I'm trying to impress people here, Lisa. You don't win friends with salad.-- Matt Groening

 
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  Education: that which reveals to the....
Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.-- Mark Twain

 
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  I do not regret one professional....
I do not regret one professional enemy I have made. Any actor who doesn't dare to make an enemy should get out of the business.-- Bette Davis

 
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  I learned this, at least, by....
I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavours to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.-- Henry David Thoreau

 
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  A desk is a dangerous place....
A desk is a dangerous place from which to watch the world.-- John le Carre

 
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  Bad temper is its own scourge.....
Bad temper is its own scourge. Few things are more bitter than to feel bitter. A man's venom poisons himself more than his victim.-- Charles Buxton

 
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  The power of love, as the....
The power of love, as the basis of a State, has never been tried.-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

 
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  For the night was not impartial.....
For the night was not impartial. No, the night loved some more than others, served some more than others.-- Eudora Welty

 
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  Once you learn how to die,....
Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.-- Morrie Schwartz

 
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  When kings the sword of justice....
When kings the sword of justice first lay down; --

 
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  Experience, n. The wisdom that enables....
Experience, n. The wisdom that enables us to recognize as an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
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  Life is a process of becoming,....
Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.-- Anais Nin

 
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  You can get everything in life....
You can get everything in life you want if you help enough other people get what they want.-- Zig Ziglar

 
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  Democracy is being allowed to vote....
Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least.-- Robert Byrne

 
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  Like so many Americans, she was....
Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops.-- Kurt Vonnegut

 
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  There can be no spirituality, no....
There can be no spirituality, no sanctity, no truth without the female sex.-- Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider

 
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  It is a curious thought, but....
It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize how much you love them.-- Agatha Christie

 
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  A kind heart is a fountain....
A kind heart is a fountain of gladness, making everything in its vicinity freshen into smiles.-- Washington Irving

 
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  Now, here, you see, it takes....
Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!-- Unknown (can you tell me?)

 
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  It is not enough to help....
It is not enough to help the feeble up, but to support him after.-- William Shakespeare

 
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  I think we agree, the past....
I think we agree, the past is over.-- George W. Bush

 
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  Probably the worst time in a....
Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day.-- Emo Phillips

 
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  Look twice before you leap.-- Charlotte....
Look twice before you leap.-- Charlotte Bronte

 
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  DIARY, n. A daily record of....
DIARY, n. A daily record of that part of one's life, which he can relate to himself without blushing.-- And Hell's no latitude for making mirth,"

 
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  If you want to be truly....
If you want to be truly successful invest in yourself to get the knowledge you need to find your unique factor. When you find it and focus on it and persevere your success will blossom.-- Sidney Madwed

 
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  YESTERDAY, n. The infancy of youth,....
YESTERDAY, n. The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age.--

 
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  The universal brotherhood of man is....
The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.-- Mark Twain

 
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  Anger as soon as fed is....
Anger as soon as fed is dead - 'Tis starving makes it fat. -- Emily Dickinson

 
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  Every problem has a gift for....
Every problem has a gift for you in its hands.-- Richard Bach

 
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  A good exercise for the heart....
A good exercise for the heart is to bend down and help another up.-- Anonymous

 
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  The shepherd drives the wolf from....
The shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep's throat, for which the sheep thanks the shepherd as his liberator, while the wolf denounces him for the same act as the destroyer of liberty.-- Abraham Lincoln

 
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  Never take the advice of someone....
Never take the advice of someone who has not had your kind of trouble.-- Sidney J. Harris

 
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  I think of football as a....
I think of football as a sport the way ducks think of hunting as a sport.-- Bill Watterson

 
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  "When I use a word," Humpty....
"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone. "It means just what I choose it to mean - neither more or less."--

 
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  Folks who never do any more....
Folks who never do any more than they are paid for, never get paid more than they do.-- Elbert Hubbard

 
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  Simplicity is not the goal. It....
Simplicity is not the goal. It is the by-product of a good idea and modest expectations.-- Paul Rand

 
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  As empty vessels make the loudest....
As empty vessels make the loudest sound, so they that have least with are the greatest babblers.-- Plato

 
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  It is honourable to be accused....
It is honourable to be accused by those who deserve to be accused.-- Latin Proverb

 
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  The fickleness of the women whom....
The fickleness of the women whom I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me.-- George Bernard Shaw

 
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  Generosity with strings is not generosity;....
Generosity with strings is not generosity; It is a deal.-- Marya Mannes

 
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  Habits are like supervisors that you....
Habits are like supervisors that you don't notice. -- Hannes Messemer

 
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  If something anticipated arrives too late....
If something anticipated arrives too late it finds us numb, wrung out from waiting, and we feel - nothing at all. The best things arrive on time.-- Dorothy Gilman

 
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  When we hate our enemies, we....
When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness. Our enemies would dance with joy if only they knew how they were worrying us, lacerating us, and getting even with us! Our hate is not hurting them at all, but our hate is turning our own days and nights into a hellish turmoil.-- Dale Carnegie

 
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  Not even the gods fight against....
Not even the gods fight against necessity.-- Simonides

 
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  Laugh and the world laughs with....
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.-- Anthony Burgess

 
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  A contented mind is a continual....
A contented mind is a continual feast.-- American Proverb

 
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  Nothing is as irritating as the....
Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.-- Kin Hubbard

 
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  Trust yourself. You know more than....
Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.-- Benjamin Spock

 
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  A journey of a thousand miles....
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.--

 
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  A goal without a plan is....
A goal without a plan is just a wish.-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

 
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  1. If reproducibility may be a....
1. If reproducibility may be a problem, conduct the test only once.-- Velilind's Laws of Experimentation:

 
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  It is always the best policy....
It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.-- Jerome K. Jerome

 
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  To sit back hoping that someday,....
To sit back hoping that someday, someway, someone will make things right is to go on feeding the crocodile, hoping he will eat you last--but eat you he will.-- Ronald Reagan

 
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  The intelligent man finds almost everything....
The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything.-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 
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  My grandfather once told me that....
My grandfather once told me that there are two kinds of people: those who work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was less competition there.-- Indira Gandhi

 
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  Most people would like to be....
Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.-- Robert Orben

 
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  Good order is the foundation of....
Good order is the foundation of all things.-- Edmund Burke

 
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  The prime purpose of eloquence is....
The prime purpose of eloquence is to keep other people from talking.-- Louis Vermeil

 
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  We do not remember days, we....
We do not remember days, we remember moments.-- Cesare Pavese

 
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  A thinker sees his own actions....
A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions--as attempts to find out something. Success and failure are for him answers above all.-- Friedrich Nietzsche

 
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  Better to reign in Hell than....
Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven.-- John Milton

 
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  My mind to me a kingdom....
My mind to me a kingdom is,--

 
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  There's this big pie in show....
There's this big pie in show business, and you physically can't eat the whole pie. If you give everybody a slice of pie, you will still have more than enough. The real trick is not to try to get the whole pie, but to keep the biggest slice.-- Jay Leno

 
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  The safest way to double your....
The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.-- Kin Hubbard

 
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  Your face is a book, where....
Your face is a book, where men may read strange matters.-- William Shakespeare

 
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  I cannot believe that the purpose....
I cannot believe that the purpose of life is (merely) to be happy. I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate. I think it is above all to matter, to count, to stand for something. To have it make some difference that you lived at all.-- Leo Rosten

 
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  Whoever ceases to be a student....
Whoever ceases to be a student has never been a student.-- George Iles

 
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  There is a history in all....
There is a history in all men's lives.-- William Shakespeare

 
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  Be peaceful, be courteous, obey the....
Be peaceful, be courteous, obey the law, respect everyone; but if someone puts his hand on you, send him to the cemetery.-- Malcolm X

 
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  Sometimes I've believed as many as....
Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.-- Lewis Carroll

 
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  Beware so long as you live,....
Beware so long as you live, of judging people by appearances.-- La Fontaine

 
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  If you ever have trouble sounding....
If you ever have trouble sounding condescending, ask a UNIX user to show you how it's done.-- Scott Adams

 
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  An adventure is only an inconvenience....
An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered.-- G. K. Chesterton

 
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  If you are a terror to....
If you are a terror to many, then beware of many.-- Ausonius

 
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  The memory should be specially taxed....
The memory should be specially taxed in youth, since it is then that it is strongest and most tenacious. But in choosing the things that should be committed to memory the utmost care and forethought must be exercised; as lessons well learnt in youth are never forgotten.-- Arthur Schopenhauer

 
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  Let your life lightly dance on....
Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time like dew on the tip of a leaf.-- Rabindranath Tagore

 
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  Next to knowing when to seize....
Next to knowing when to seize an opportunity, the most important thing in life is to know when to forego an advantage.-- Benjamin Disraeli

 
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  A conservative is a man who....
A conservative is a man who sits and thinks, mostly sits.-- Woodrow Wilson

 
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  Christianity might be a good thing....
Christianity might be a good thing if anyone ever tried it.-- George Bernard Shaw

 
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  To be upset over what you....
To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have.-- Unknown

 
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  There are few more impressive sights....
There are few more impressive sights in the world than a Scotsman on the make.-- James M. Barrie

 
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  All that we are is the....
All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him.-- Buddha

 
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  A critic is a man who....
A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car.-- Kenneth Tynan

 
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  Women love us for our defects.....
Women love us for our defects. If we have enough of them, they will forgive us everything, even our intellects.-- Oscar Wilde

 
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  There are mighty few people who....
There are mighty few people who think what they think they think.-- Robert Henri

 
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  A writer is a person for....
A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.-- Thomas Mann

 
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  Tell us your phobias, and we....
Tell us your phobias, and we will tell you what you are afraid of.-- Robert Benchley

 
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  The greatest mistake a man can....
The greatest mistake a man can make is to be afraid of making one.-- Elbert Hubbard

 
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  POSITIVISM, n. A philosophy that denies....
POSITIVISM, n. A philosophy that denies our knowledge of the Real and affirms our ignorance of the Apparent. Its longest exponent is Comte, its broadest Mill and its thickest Spencer.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
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  BRANDY, n. A cordial composed of....
BRANDY, n. A cordial composed of one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the- grave and four parts clarified Satan. Dose, a headful all the time. Brandy is said by Dr. Johnson to be the drink of heroes. Only a hero will venture to drink it.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
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  In every power, of which taste....
In every power, of which taste is the foundation, excellence is pretty fairly divided between the sexes.-- Jane Austen

 
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  Seek not to follow in the....
Seek not to follow in the footsteps of men of old; seek what they sought.-- Matsuo Basho

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It is a common delusion that....
It is a common delusion that you make things better by talking about them.-- Dame Rose Macaulay

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Work is the curse of the....
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.-- Oscar Wilde

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  UXORIOUSNESS, n. A perverted affection that....
UXORIOUSNESS, n. A perverted affection that has strayed to one's own wife.-- Ambrose Bierce

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  It is inaccurate to say I....
It is inaccurate to say I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.-- H. L. Mencken

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  I bought some batteries, but they....
I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.-- Steven Wright

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.
  Forgiveness is the fragrance that the....
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds upon the heel that crushes it.-- Mark Twain

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.

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