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Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.-- John Kenneth Galbraith
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SPOOKER, n. A writer whose imagination concerns itself with supernatural phenomena, especially in the doings of spooks. One of the most illustrious spookers of our time is Mr. William D. Howells, who introduces a well-credentialed reader to as respectable and mannerly a company of spooks as one could wish to meet. To the terror that invests the chairman of a district school board, the Howells ghost adds something of the mystery enveloping a farmer from another township.-- Ambrose Bierce
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It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.-- H. L. Mencken
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What a country calls its vital economic interests are not the things which enable its citizens to live, but the things which enable it to make war. Petrol is much more likely than wheat to be a cause of international conflict.-- Simone Weil
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The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.-- Unknown (can you tell me?)
By necessity, by proclivity, and by delight, we all quote. In fact, it is as difficult to appropriate the thoughts of others as it is to invent.-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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If people really want to go, and really try all their lives, I think they will get in; for I don�t believe there are any locks on that door, or any guards at the gate. I always imagine it is as it is in the picture, where the shining ones stretch out their hands to welcome poor Christian as he comes up from the river.-- Louisa May Alcott
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Never get married while you're going to college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake.-- Kin Hubbard
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We should every night ball ourselves to an account: What infirmity have I mastered today? What passions opposed? What temptation resisted? What virtue acquired?-- Seneca
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The preservation of the sacred fire of liberty and the destiny of the republican model of government are justly considered... deeply, ...finally, staked on the experiment entrusted to the hands of the American people.-- George Washington
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Education commences at the mother's knee, and every word spoken within the hearing of little children tends towards the formation of character.-- Hosea Ballou
The case for trade is not just monetary, but moral. Economic freedom creates habits of liberty. And habits of liberty create expectations of democracy.-- George W. Bush
If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair.-- C. S. Lewis
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A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other... until death do them join.-- Elbert Hubbard
No man with a man's heart in him, gets far on his way without some bitter, soul searching disappointment. Happy he who is brave enough to push on another stage of the journey, and rest where there are living springs of water, and three score and ten palms.-- Unknown (can you tell me?)
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Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.-- Unknown (can you tell me?)
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A military operation involves deception. Even though you are competent, appear to be incompetent. Though effective, appear to be ineffective.-- Sun-tzu
I may be a living legend, but that sure don't help when I've got to change a flat tire.-- Unknown (can you tell me?)
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TRINITY, n. In the multiplex theism of certain Christian churches, three entirely distinct deities consistent with only one. Subordinate deities of the polytheistic faith, such as devils and angels, are not dowered with the power of combination, and must urge individually their clames to adoration and propitiation. The Trinity is one of the most sublime mysteries of our holy religion. In rejecting it because it is incomprehensible, Unitarians betray their inadequate sense of theological fundamentals. In religion we believe only what we do not understand, except in the instance of an intelligible doctrine that contradicts an incomprehensible one. In that case we believe the former as a part of the latter.-- Ambrose Bierce
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ABSTAINER, n. A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others. Said a man to a crapulent youth: "I thought--
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I have loved like a child collecting shells along the shore line, discarding one shell for another of seemingly more outward beauty with no knowledge of the pearls that were hidden within.-- Robert Anthony
There is no law against composing music when one has no ideas whatsoever. The music of Wagner, therefore, is perfectly legal-- Unknown (can you tell me?)
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If I traveled to the end of the rainbow As Dame Fortune did intend, Murphy would be there to tell me The pot's at the other end.-- Unknown (can you tell me?)
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The government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.-- Ronald Reagan
There are now two great nations in the world, which starting from different points, seem to be advancing toward the same goal: the Russians and the Anglo-Americans...Each seems called by some secret design of Providence one day to hold in its hands the destinies of half the world.-- Unknown (can you tell me?)
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Many years ago Rudyard Kipling gave an address at McGill University in Montreal. He said one striking thing which deserves to be remembered. Warning the students against an over-concern for money, or position, or glory, he said: "Some day you will meet a man who cares for none of these things. Then you will know how poor you are."-- Unknown (can you tell me?)
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The true spirit of delight, the exaltation, the sense of being more than Man, which is the touchstone of the highest excellence, is to be found in mathematics as surely as in poetry.-- Bertrand Russell
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When he stood up, it was a very complicated motion. If the deck chairs on the Ship to the Sea of Night had opened up, they would have done so like that. It was like he was unfolding himself forever.-- Neil Gaiman
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Life ultimately means taking the responsibility....
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Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.-- Viktor Frankl
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KORAN, n. A book which the Mohammedans foolishly believe to have been written by divine inspiration, but which Christians know to be a wicked imposture, contradictory to the Holy Scriptures.-- Ambrose Bierce
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For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe... Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end.-- H. L. Mencken
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We can allow satellites, planets, suns, universe, nay whole systems of universes, to be governed by laws, but the smallest insect, we wish to be created at once by special act.-- Charles Darwin
Death is the enemy. I spent 10 years of my life singlemindedly studying, practicing, fighting hand to hand in close quarters to defeat the enemy, to send him back bloodied and humble and I am not going to roll over and surrender.-- Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider
Deep in the human unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense. But the real universe is always one step beyond logic.-- Frank Herbert
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CURIOSITY, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul.-- Ambrose Bierce
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The genius of you Americans is that you never make clear-cut stupid moves, only complicated stupid moves which make us wonder at the possibility that there may be something to them we are missing.-- Unknown (can you tell me?)
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If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read "President Can't Swim".-- Lyndon B. Johnson
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But psychoanalysis has taught that the dead�a dead parent, for example�can be more alive for us, more powerful, more scary, than the living. It is the question of ghosts.-- Jacques Derrida
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I once complained to my father that I didn't seem to be able to do things the same way other people did. Dad's advice? 'Margo, don't be a sheep. People hate sheep. They eat sheep.'-- Margo Kaufman
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My work is a game, a very serious game.-- M. C. Escher
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An understanding heart is everything in a teacher, and cannot be esteemed highly enough. One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feeling. The curriculum is so much necessary raw material, but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child.-- Carl Jung
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Imagination is a quality given to man to compensate for what he is not, and a sense of humaor is provided to console him from what he is.-- Oscar Wilde
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In an industrial society which confuses work and productivity, the necessity of producing has always been an enemy of the desire to create.-- Raoul Vaneigem
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We cannot seek or attain health, wealth, learning, justice or kindness in general. Action is always specific, concrete, individualized, unique.-- John Dewey
George Dubya Bush - stoopidest man alive - read some of his bushisms here and judge for yourself
TEDIUM, n. Ennui, the state or condition of one that is bored. Many fanciful derivations of the word have been affirmed, but so high an authority as Father Jape says that it comes from a very obvious source -- the first words of the ancient Latin hymn _Te Deum Laudamus_. In this apparently natural derivation there is something that saddens.-- Ambrose Bierce
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Where, after all, do universal human rights begin? In small places, close to home�so close and so small that they cannot be seen on any map of the world. Yet they are the world of the individual person: The neighbourhood he lives in; the school or college he attends; the factory, farm or office where he works. Such are the places where every man, woman and child seeks equal justice, equal opportunity, equal dignity without discrimination. Unless these rights have meaning there, they have little meaning anywhere. Without concerted citizen action to uphold them close to home, we shall look in vain for progress in the larger world.-- Eleanor Roosevelt
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Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains or slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take but as for me; give me liberty or give me death!-- Patrick Henry
The moral virtues, then, are produced in us neither by nature nor against nature. Nature, indeed, prepares in us the ground for their reception, but their complete formation is the product of habit.-- Aristotle
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Nothing is more destructive of respect for the government and the law of the land than passing laws which cannot be enforced. It is an open secret that the dangerous increase of crime in this counrty is closely related with this.-- Albert Einstein
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Instead of conceiving of society as something established for the defense of individual rights, fair contracts, and due process of law, we are invited to see it in terms of the biblical vision. This way of living, thinking, and acting where autonomy and related rights take priority has seriously jeopardized the meaning and values of all institutions in our society.-- Unknown (can you tell me?)
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Gossip is always a personal confession of malice or imbecility; it is a low, frivolous, and too often a dirty business. There are neighborhoods where it rages like a pest; churches are split in pieces by it, and neighbor made enemies for life. Let the young avoid or cure it while they may.-- Unknown (can you tell me?)
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I say to mankind, Be not curious about God. For I, who am curious about each, am not curious about God - I hear and behold God in every object, yet understand God not in the least.-- Walt Whitman
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Good ideas alter the power balance in relationships, that is why good ideas are always initially resisted. Good ideas come with a heavy burden. Which is why so few people have them. So few people can handle it.-- Hugh Macleod
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To grow old is to grow common. Old age equalizes - we are aware that what is happening to us has happened to untold numbers from the beginning of time. When we are young we act as if we were the first young people in the world.-- Eric Hoffer
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Hard work's a good distraction.-- Scott Westerfeld
The austin healey sprite Mk1 is a stunning car that represented the beginning of an era where ordinary folk could affor to buy a real sports car - read about this amazing automobile at The Frogeye Blog
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The indefatigable pursuit of an unattainable perfection, even though it consists in nothing more than the pounding of an old piano, is what alone gives meaning to our life on this unavailing star.-- Logan Pearsall Smith
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Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.-- Steve Jobs
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The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.-- Will Rogers
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Presumption means nothing more than as stated by Lord Mansfield, the weighing of probabilities, and deciding, by the powers of common sense, on which side the truth is.-- Sir William Draper
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You (God) have not only commanded continence, that is, from what things we are to restrain our love, but also justice, that is, on what we are to bestow our love.-- Saint Augustine
If happiness truly consisted of physical ease and freedom from care, then the happiest individual would not be either a man or a woman; it would be, I think, an American cow.-- William Lyon Phelps
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DATARY, n. A high ecclesiastic official of the Roman Catholic Church, whose important function is to brand the Pope's bulls with the words _Datum Romae_. He enjoys a princely revenue and the friendship of God.-- Ambrose Bierce
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Whoever feels pain in hearing a good character of his neighbor, will feel a pleasure in the reverse. And those who despair to rise in distinction by their virtues, are happy if others can be depressed to a level of themselves.-- Benjamin Franklin
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You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.-- Abraham Lincoln
The austin healey sprite Mk1 is a stunning car that represented the beginning of an era where ordinary folk could affor to buy a real sports car - read about this amazing automobile at The Frogeye Blog
When you get into a tight place and it seems that you can't go on, hold on--for that's just the place and the time that the tide will turn.-- Harriet Beecher Stowe
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It requires greater courage to preserve inner freedom, to move on in one's inward journey into new realms, than to stand defiantly for outer freedom. It is often easier to play the martyr, as it is to be rash in battle.-- Unknown (can you tell me?)
We have staked the whole future of American civilization, not upon the power of government, far from it. We have staked the future of all of our political institutions upon the capacity of mankind of self-government; upon the capacity of each and all of us to govern ourselves, to control ourselves, to sustain ourselves according to the Ten Commandments of God.-- Unknown
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